If I could........

relax and pet my cat and dangle my feet in the stream and find things that please me and focus upon them....... and spend time with the people who make me feel the best and read the books that make me feel best and go to the movies that make me feel best and take the drives that make me feel best and think of the aspects of those I work with who make me feel best and make lists of things that I like that make me feel best and wear the clothing that makes me feel best and eat the food that makes me feel best and do the things that make me feel best and think the thoughts that make me feel best......... hmm, I would feel pretty good!!!

Surrender to.....

Don't be afraid to surrender to the void.

The void isn't empty

it's filled with the Divine.

Words by: Marianne Williamson

My present moment today is about surrendering to the void. A place full of questions waiting for my answers to what is true for me. It's about jumping off into the unknown, knowing only that I don't have to go there alone. I am on this earth to give love and be loved. To stop clinging to "lack" and be present and open to what each moment can offer me. I am surrounded by SO many wonderful people, just their presence is a constant reminder of how loved and full my life is. I will live this moment today with gratitude and excitement. And a huge thank you to all that have chosen to come along for the ride of a life time.

Bad Hair Cut ?

The hair cut wasn't that bad but it wasn't what I thought I was asking her to do. I was not very happy when I got home and felt frustrated because I was trying to grow some of my hair longer. Now it is all very short again. So enough time of looking in the mirror and realizing that being upset doesn't grow my hair any faster I decided to see what lesson I could dig out of my disappointment.

The lesson is a reminder:

* to work on my communication skills and maybe next time I could bring in a picture or go over my idea with her and see if she "gets it". And in general be more aware of how I am communicating with others. Often I know what I feel or am trying to say but getting that idea across to another is harder sometimes then it seems.

* to listen deeper to others and myself (as I felt that was something she didn't really do for me). I am guilty of hearing but not really listening. I often interrupt, I'm thinking of what I want to say while another is talking and I've made choices in my life that were not the best for me because I didn't listen deep enough to my own thoughts and knowing.

I will ponder more about what it is to listen deeply and leave you with this thought.........

When one surrenders into listening closely and carefully and sacredly to the moment, there is no longer fear.

An unconventional life........

I found myself the other day justifying, rationalizing, and explaining the life I choose to live with my children. Later when I had time to reflex back, I realized I don't need to give an excuse or a detailed list to anyone of why I live the way I live. If I am at peace and my children are happy what else matters. I realize it is okay for them to wonder or question but I don't have to fill in the blanks for them just because they ask. If I thought their curiosity was to understand and maybe take away a different view then maybe I would be inclined to share. Living my life is a moment by moment event. When I took on the unconventional life I throw away the rules and decided to go with what feels right. I can take away from this experience the reminder of when I judge another to allow them the freedom to live as they want and I can still love and accept the other person because I am content with what I have chosen and I don't need their stamp of approval for me to be okay.

Are you suffering.....

from the belief that you must suffer to be happy?

Here are some tell-tale signs:

*You subscribe to the belief of "no pain, no gain"

*You believe there is no such thing as a free lunch-everything costs

*No one is harder on you than you are

*Comfort, wealth and luxury make you feel uneasy and guilty

*Life's a bitch and then you die. Ain't that the truth.

*Too much comfort cause too much guilt

*You like to strive, but to thrive would increase the guilt factor too much

*You are always fighting and struggling against someone or something

Taking from the book: "Happiness Now" by Robert Holden

In my life it was never spoken about or acknowledged but suffering was part of my existence. I was not fully conscious of that choice and the choices I made because of that unwritten rule. I love the story of two people sharing their tale of woe as the other tries to "out do" the suffering of the others story, ending in someone saying "You Win". This reminds me it's not a contest, you don't win a prize or it doesn't make you a better person. The most helpful response to suffering is to use suffering as a chance to hit the re-set button in life and commit once again to what it truly important and makes me happy.

To be happy, you must value joy more than pain....

A Witness to creativity.....

Everyday life offers endless possibilities and there is enough for everyone.

I am in AWE of what a mind can do when given the space to roam free. My two youngest children have had the gift of creative freedom. Their days are filled with open space on which to explore and experiment. They are not govern by rules of what creativity should look like. My job has been to move and arrange their lives so when the muse flows there is an avenue to follow where it needs to go. I am a witness to what trust can develop into. Trusting in my children to fail and succeed as they play with life, as I stand beside them offering a safe place for them to be. Each day my children remind me to play more and to set myself free.

exercising my JOY

I wake this morning to thoughts that were unpleasant and not constructive to be thinking. If not controlled or contained they are like an avalanche that picks up speed and only ends in disaster. I realized the muscle of joy and good thoughts has to be continually used to grow stronger and more prominent in my life. In ever present moment there is available either joy or unhappiness. I can choose! It has to be a conscious effort, to remain in the moment and exercise the muscle of positive thinking. Each present moment give me another opportunity to practice and decide what it is that I want in and for my life. I decide.......... I want JOY !