New Growth

 

When out for a walk the other day, I noticed "new growth" sprouted up all around. It got me to thinking (as nature often does) that, that's what new growth looks like on us. Beautiful, fresh, inspiring, and hopeful. Each present moment is a chance for new growth, new hope, new inspiration and to be beautiful. 

Fish out of water...

"The ache for home lives in all of us, the safe place where we can go as we are and not be questioned."

Maya Angelou

As my search for my forever home continues, I've realized I'm feeling like a "fish out of water." I'm such a homebody and a home is a place of refuge and a place to recharge from the world for me. But I am forever grateful for the refuge I do have among people who have provided a safe and loving place to be while I turn the page of this new chapter in my and my children's lives. Today in this present moment I will breathe deeply and remember this quote...

"Home is where the heart is."

Words and Self Forgiveness...

"She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful."

Terri St. Cloud

Talking with a friend the other day reminded me again how words can be destructive and hurtful or loving and kind.  Like a mirror held up to my soul I saw these destructive and hurtful words about people that haven't even been in my life for a very long time as something more. Those words were really directed at me and had nothing to really do with them. It shined a light on a place within me that is still in need of self-forgiveness. So today I will pick up this present moment and carry with me kinder more loving words for those around me and myself.

The Wishies...

As I was out quieting my mind this morning, I noticed the dandelion seeds, which I have always called "wishies" and are definitely on my favorite things list, floating across the sky and how they will land somewhere and something will grow. It got me to thinking about how when I put my loving thoughts out into the universe you never know what good or loving things will grow from them. And even when I extend those same thoughts for myself how much better I flourish and feel about each present moment I am in. So today I send the seeds of, PEACE, LOVE and JOY to grow and spread upon all those in need. Take what you like and spread the rest!

Difference...

 

As I was sitting at a stoplight this afternoon I glanced over and saw all kinds of stuff by the curb. Discarded cigarette butts, bottle caps, torn paper, etc. It got me to thinking about how we each DO make a difference in this world. We each have a choice in each present moment to litter or not. It's a small choice but one that impacts our world.

Story...

 

 "Description begins in the writer's imagination. But should finish in the readers."

Stephen King

I've noticed as I've chosen to show up for my creativity each and everyday that the fiction book that has laid dormant in my mind, has begun to surface. The pages speak to me, wanting to be written and set free. I find it interesting that when I've allowed my creativity to have a higher priority in my life, creativity continues to flow, even all that was buried deep within. It feels good to be thinking about my story again, it has been with me for about 15 years. I've kept it captive and locked away... a place that felt safe. But through my art journal, I'm learning to walk with the unknown present moment by present moment. Allowing it to flow even when I don't know what I will meet when I arrive.

A Plan...

 

 "You don't always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breath, trust, let go and see what happens."

This is hard for me. I'm such a planner and want/need to know all the details and I'm sure it gives me some sense of feeling like I have control. But I find myself wanting more of this in my life - to... breath... trust... let go... and see what happens. This is a present moment by present moment challenge, but with each moment that passes I hope I will get a little better at it!

December...

 "We are all doing the very best we can, but doing isn't really what matters. It's the allowing of each day to move through us without getting caught up in the struggle."

As each day in December passes I find myself thinking about the new year and the intentions I hold to make each present moment a more conscious one, "When you are open to life, you create an energy force that says YES." I want to allow more and try to not get caught up in the struggle as much. I want to create more, and enjoy the process. I want to love and listen deeper to myself and all those in my life. I want to allow more energy to flow freely and hear the word " Yes" more often in my soul.

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Sister Love...

 My sister and I chatted today and our stories are different but our hearts are the same. We each want self-love, self-acceptance and a need to feel validated, supported and loved by someone. I think that is what we are are looking for and we each must find our path that speaks to our soul. So as my sister and I journey together may we remember to continue to hold our hearts in the present moment and offer the love that only a sister can offer to the other.

Cultivate trust...

 The root that I most need to cultivate within myself now is...TRUST.

Walking each day with " the unknown" and wanting to do that in a more graceful and loving way, I have to trust that all will be well. With each passing present moment I have to believe I am being lead to a place more beautiful and amazing then I could ever dream for myself. And only with trust can I surrender and embrace all that is to be and allow it to flow swiftly into my life. When I can fully trust, I can be free to try new things and know no matter what the outcome I will be okay. With trust, there is security and comfort to move around in life, lighter and with excitement... like a surprise around every corner. All I have to do is put on foot in front of the other and know... " all is well"

Okay...

"Be okay with not knowing for sure what might come next but know that whatever it is... YOU will be OK."

This is my mantra everyday. I try in each present moment to be okay with not knowing and then knowing I will be okay. It's a skill I continue to practice and find I am making progress. So I will offer myself  "love" and continue on.



Alone...

Somedays, some weeks I just wish I had my "mommy" or " daddy" - that soft, safe place to fall when life has chewed you up and spite you out.  I have never had that and as much as I take care of myself and "be kind" it doesn't replace what the heart ache for - what every child should have available. I know I'm not alone in that feeling and it's not a unique feeling, but right at this present moment it feels like I am ALONE.

Preserve...

My actions are speaking loudly this week. I've been very forgetful, saying things that don't make sense, trying to drive with my sunshade still in the window, etc, etc, etc. I have not had space in my days for awhile now and that is partly my fault. I have trouble sometimes saying NO and not pausing long enough to think about my week before I speak. When one day runs into the next with no breathing room, I get a little off center, as my actions have clearly presented to me. As always, with awareness comes change and my hope is I will remember this lesson and allow my life to have ~ PAUSE and preserve some present moments ~ just for me!

Best Thing...

For days I was hanging out in a place that was full of children. They were excited, running back and forth and up and down, soaking up everything around them. I never get tired of watching the child like innocence, their wonder and pure JOY that they seem to get from the very present moment their in. Children are the best thing every!!!

Down Time....

It is so nice to have some down time, meaning no walking unless I want to, no "have to's" or getting up early to get out the door, but just to sit for hours, laugh, share meals with friends, and watch my children and their friends enjoy each others company. I'm soaking up each present moment...

Your Own...

"Be your own kind of beautiful."

 This quote is what I will hold in my intentions for the day.

In each present moment I will strive to "be my OWN kind of beautiful" and not compare or wish I am anything other then my beautiful self.

Sea...

"Let the sea set you free."

I hope to do this very soon ~ visit the sea! There is something hypnotic about sitting at the oceans edge, or watching a river flow down stream. For the present moment I'm there, it takes all my cares away and even for a brief time I feel free.

Friday...

I've had a marathon of a week and it won't be over until about 9 tonight. But I have a small window of time in-between one thing until the other and I am SO tired, I'm taking a short nap and a few present moments to catch my breath. It feels so good to pause...

Love...

"Fall in love with moments"

I liked the way this sounded when I read it. It felt simple and it was about being present to "fall in love with the moment your in." My mind is always scattered in SO many different directions that I often times lose that "present moment" to fall in love with.

Refuge...

"The library had become her solace. Her refuge. Books did not question or judge. They made safe companions."

Inglath Cooper, Truth and Roses: A Love Story

We all need a place of refuge from life. I'm glad my children feel that way about their home and with friends and families homes. To find refuge to relax, to not have to feel like you have to be anything but your imperfect, perfect self is a time to gather strength to keep moving forward in each present moment.  When I'm not able to be with those people who provide solace, I find it in books, nature, food, art, quiet time, and animals.