Winter to Spring

"I'm going to try and pay attention to the spring. I'm going to look around at all the flowers, and look up at the hectic trees. I am going to close my eyes and listen."

Anne Lamont

Winter has much to offer if I pause long enough to see. To linger in appreciation at the hidden treasures now visible through the absence of distractions. As winter comes to say goodbye, spring knocks at the door to be welcomed. 

Today there was time to play, to plant and dig in the dirt. New growth is anticipated and a hunger for the freshness that a new season brings and a chance to see things differently.

Reconstructing A Life...

My life goes on... driving, cleaning, cooking, shopping, making phone calls, talking with friends, watering plants, getting dressed... but in the shadow, lingers grief and an unsettled unknowing of how to "reconstruct a new life." The people that surround me have not changed, mother nature provides her constant  beauty that is unwavering, and my children remain ever present and close. These are the things I hold onto as I stumble along, looking for refuge, while newness comes each day asking for my assistance.
I'm reminded that reconstruction comes with time... one step at a time. What was. is gone, you sift through the rubble and hold on to the good, while letting go of all that no longer serves you. You listen closer, now that the noise of the past is silent...and you begin!

December...

 "We are all doing the very best we can, but doing isn't really what matters. It's the allowing of each day to move through us without getting caught up in the struggle."

As each day in December passes I find myself thinking about the new year and the intentions I hold to make each present moment a more conscious one, "When you are open to life, you create an energy force that says YES." I want to allow more and try to not get caught up in the struggle as much. I want to create more, and enjoy the process. I want to love and listen deeper to myself and all those in my life. I want to allow more energy to flow freely and hear the word " Yes" more often in my soul.

.

Need...

"People don't always need advice. Sometimes all they need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them."

Sometimes I shy away from talking with people about "whatever" I'm feeling because I find that there is advice to be heard or a judgement being made, when all I "need" ( most of the time) is a hand to hold, an ear to listen and a heart to understand. It's also a good reminder for me too. All most people want is "love."

Music...

"the earth has music for those who listen."

Shakesphere

That's one of the things I'm appreciating being outside so much is the ~ music. I love to listen to the birds sing and search for where they may be coming from, the leaves that jingle as the wind blows, the crunch under my shoes and the hum of the bee's as they search for nectar.

Enough...

"Sometimes we don't need advice. We just need somebody to listen."

Lately I've been feeling that I just need someone to listen. Not judge me, or have conditions... for it just to be okay to be who I am in this present moment. And as much as I allow that myself, it's just nice to have someone do that for you... just because they care and love you enough.

My Body...

My body is telling me to slow down. I'm not feeling good and even though I have to work today, there are things I can do to take care of myself. I'm taking herbs, vitamins and teas to boost what my body is lacking. And I will rest as much as I can when I get home and on the days following when it's possible.  When my body speaks I'm learning to listen.

Listen...

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."

I have been guilty of not deeply listening and replying without deeply understanding. I have made progress over the years but it's still a skill that I want to continue to work on. I feel we all want to be heard and not necessarily with a reply. To really listen, to really hear is such a gift I can give to someone in any present moment I am in.

The Forest...

For awhile now I've been trying to listen when I get a feeling that won't stop. All this week I've had this urge and silent persistence to go out into the forest and just "be" with it. Everyday I've let other things keep me from listening. So today I went. I can't say I know why, or that I came back with a revelation of sorts but I did listen and somehow that feels right. The forest has always been my "go to" when I need to know "all is well" and I'm right where I need to be in my life.

The Web...

"In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled." 

Learning to listen to my inner voice is hard sometimes. It takes practice and patience to be still and trust that what I KNOW is what is right for me. Even when the world fills my head with facts and opinions it can get confusing. It's a delicate web, that if built in the right place, can withstand almost any weather.

Duck suit...

"Sometimes you have to work hard at seeing the value you offer. You have to unzip your duck suit, that waterproof layer that insulates you from allowing in praise and recognition. Let it in, baby, or you won't ever let your powerhouse self out. The people who admire you have been given this special task in life to help you see yourself."

words from ~ Inspired & Unstoppable

This is my challenge... Letting the world see me! I've been zipped up and insulated along time. Where I was in my life, it was my protection, but I don't need that any more and life is calling me in a new direction... Will I listen and let it in, so that others can help me see myself as I truly am? I have to say, it is really really scary! Intellectually I know I am safe and all is well but jumping off with the faith that I will have wings to fly is another.

Time... to listen...

A few weeks ago I was running around accomplishing and crossing off things on my to do list. One thing was to stop at the grocery store and pick up something on special. As I was leaving a man who no doubt had been tossed around by life, asked if I had a cigarette he could buy. Since I don't smoke I told him I didn't and went on my way. As I was driving to the next "to do" I thought, I guess I could have gone back in the store and bought him a pack of cigarettes. So I stopped at another store and bought a pack to drop off to him. As I did I noticed someone else had the kindness of heart of offer him a pack. But what I realized later was he really wanted my time. Time to sit and listen to him. I did listen for about 5 or 10 minutes all the while thinking about my things I had planned on getting done that day. And then I told him I had to go. Today I was reminded of him and how I can use that opportunity to remember to listen more deeply to those around me. I think we all just want to be listened to more deeply and to be heard. He may not have been making much sense, but does it really matter what he was saying. It was about being in that moment and fully present to another human being.