FLOW....

My word this year is... FLOW! Yes - flow with an exclamation mark! I have spent most of my life resisting what is and not allowing for fear of the unknown. But this past year working in an art journal has really helped me walk into the unknown a little more willing and a little less resistant. So that is why I picked the word flow. I want the unknown to flow freely in and out of my life. I want "all" to pass through my life with our judgment or labels and just let it be and - F....L....O....W.................................................

Jealous...

 

I found myself having a hard time feeling like I needed to let go of jealousy with a particular person in my life. Then I realized I didn't need to get rid of it, but dig deeper into what that feeling was trying to tell me. And it was FEAR... fear that I would never have what they seem to have right now. That I will always be left without - that special someone that would love me. A relationship to share my vulnerability, my laughter, my tears, my children, my hopes and dreams. Someone to chat with about life and love, that person to feel accepted and genuinely cared about. The jealousy has not left me yet, so I will give it a safe place to be for now without judgement or labels and love myself until...

Need...

"People don't always need advice. Sometimes all they need is a hand to hold, an ear to listen, and a heart to understand them."

Sometimes I shy away from talking with people about "whatever" I'm feeling because I find that there is advice to be heard or a judgement being made, when all I "need" ( most of the time) is a hand to hold, an ear to listen and a heart to understand. It's also a good reminder for me too. All most people want is "love."

Renewed...

Letting go is a process. It comes in stages of grief, anger and acceptance. Somedays I'm in all those places. My tears release and wash the feeling clean and I am renewed to continue on this journey. As the next present moment presents itself, I allow it to flow through me without judgement. I am strong and brave...

Perfect...

"Nothing is perfect if judgement is present. Everything is perfect when you let go. This is how you see with the eyes of love."

Jackson Kiddard

Today I will let go and look through the eyes of love, and then I will"know" that everything is as it should be ~ perfect without judgement, because...

All is well...

Side of the road...

When I pulled up to a stop light today, there was a man standing there with a sign that he was homeless and needed money. My thought has always been to give him some without judgement. Does it really matter what he choose to use it for. But as I gave him the money I thought later - he is someone's son, maybe someone's father, he's a man with a story, a past and hopefully a future. I left him with loving thoughts to make the choices that are right for his life.

Ashamed..

"I decided that the most subversive revolutionary thing I could do was to show up for my life and not be ashamed."

Anne Lamontt

The word "ashamed" is the hard one for me. It takes forgiving myself over and over again until it finally takes hold and I let it go and I don't pick it back up for whatever it is I'm feeling ashamed about. And when I stay in the present moment  I find it much easier to show up for my life without judgement of myself ~ because the present moment only holds the present!

Personal...

One of the greatest lessons I'm learning in life is to "not take it personally." Whatever the situation may be, it may sting in the moment but when you can let it go and realize it's more about the other person then about you then it's easier to "not take it personal." Now that doesn't mean I can't look at my own reflection and see things I can or could have done differently and learn from it, but when you don't take it personal you can be more objective and allow that moment to be, without judgement for either person.

Goals...

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting different results"

So today I am going to try something different and email a couple of friends everyday with my goals for the day. They are each sent and received without judgement.  Not that this is the magic cure for my procrastination or distractibility but it is something I haven't tried before so in time, we will see what the results are. Thanks for the suggestion my friend!

Observer...

The next few days I'm going to be in a room full of people and I find it so easy to let my mind make snap judgments instead of just observations. So that is my goal for the time I'm there ~ to be an observer, without judgement of whether anything or anyone is good, bad, right, or wrong. I want to be open to the energy around me and let things flow freely. I want to allow myself to be "present in each  moment." Then I will be back blogging about all that I observed!

Routine...

I'm trying to establish a routine of the things I want more of in my life. Like unstructured writing, planned writing, exercise ( includes, yoga, weights and walking) and more thought out meals for myself. I've read it takes weeks and months to establish habit's and routines, and I'm hoping the good habit's will start out weighing the bad because they are producing JOY. But I only have one rule and that is there is NO judgement allowed. If I didn't get the yoga done or the writing I'd intended I can do it later that day or tomorrow. It's more about self care and continuing to strive for what I want in my life and to focus on what I am doing right instead on what I'm not. 

Observer...

I'm trying to be more of an observer in my life instead of placing judgement on what I see. When walking through my day I see something or someone I am trying to be more aware of just thinking - is this something I want or not? It doesn't make it right or wrong or the person's choice right or wrong, it is just an observation for the choices I want to make in my life. I hope as I remind myself to be more present and just observe it will become more of an habit. It opens up more allowing - allowing good to flow when energy is not needed to pass judgement or stress over what others are doing or not doing. It can be fun to let life be less complicated and just "observe".

I learn something from every teacher in my life, even if it's learning how not to live. - Louise L. Hay