Jealous...

 

I found myself having a hard time feeling like I needed to let go of jealousy with a particular person in my life. Then I realized I didn't need to get rid of it, but dig deeper into what that feeling was trying to tell me. And it was FEAR... fear that I would never have what they seem to have right now. That I will always be left without - that special someone that would love me. A relationship to share my vulnerability, my laughter, my tears, my children, my hopes and dreams. Someone to chat with about life and love, that person to feel accepted and genuinely cared about. The jealousy has not left me yet, so I will give it a safe place to be for now without judgement or labels and love myself until...

Credit Card...

I'm so grateful for my credit card. I feel funny even saying that because so many people in this country are in credit card debit. I was one of those, many moons ago in a relationship that was anything but healthy and money was abused and misused. I've always loved money and I cherish the ability to have  it in my life and I take good care using it. So when I got my own credit card after the relationship was over, it has come in handy for so many things. I always pay it off and I don't use it for things I know I'm not going to be able to pay off the next month. But I like it's presence in my life to use in an emergency whether it's a minor one or major ~ I'm thankful!

Dreaming...

"Your dream doesn't have an expiration date. Take a deep breath and try again!"

Reminder to self today...

 ~ just because another day has passed doesn't mean your dreams are fading. There is still time to have a loving relationship, there is still time to continue to write ~ NO EXPIRATION DATE!

 Take a deep breath and keep dreaming...

Blindfolded...

Right now in my life I feel like I am walking around with a blindfold on. It feels like EVERYTHING  is unknown ~ my health, my home, my car, my work, a relationship. Guess it's time to LOVE the unknown and flow with it. Resistance is useless...  Letting go is freeing!

A Song...

My oldest son is getting married this October and he called me the other day and wanted me to pick a song for the mother~son dance. My first thought was the song "I Hope You Dance", which always brings me to tears. But with a little time to reflect I feel a bit overwhelming and honored all wrapped into one. Overwhelmed to find a song that will incapsulate all that a mother could feel for her son and honored that we have a relationship that offers the opportunity to to even have a beautiful mother~son dance. And as the months drift by I will enjoy the process to find "just the right song" that will hopefully bring joy and happiness to his special day and our special dance. 

Love to you my dearest son ~ Matthew