Words and Self Forgiveness...

"She could never go back and make some of the details pretty. All she could do was move forward and make the whole beautiful."

Terri St. Cloud

Talking with a friend the other day reminded me again how words can be destructive and hurtful or loving and kind.  Like a mirror held up to my soul I saw these destructive and hurtful words about people that haven't even been in my life for a very long time as something more. Those words were really directed at me and had nothing to really do with them. It shined a light on a place within me that is still in need of self-forgiveness. So today I will pick up this present moment and carry with me kinder more loving words for those around me and myself.

Men...

Growing up there weren't a lot of positive men in my life and then when I married my former husband he introduced me to one awesome man, his name was Father Eugene McCreesh. He was a Jesuit priest and just a very compassionate man. He uses to go to the beach with us every year and came up to the house on every occasion. My middle son was named after him. I was missing him a lot today, missing his quiet words, his big bear hugs, and his loving presence. But I am forever grateful that I have such kind and wonderful memories to remember!

My Soul Craves...

http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Full-Episode-Madonna-Badger-Video

I hadn't watched Oprah's Super Soul Sunday in a long time. The channel had been taking off my cable choices but yesterday I decided to sit down and try to watch it on my phone. It was a heavy subject for me having experienced so many deaths in my former families lives, but I got a message that I was suppose to hear...

"Let somebody love you"

I realized after hearing that, how much I don't allow that to happen, and instead, offer in return, a resistance to its existence. THIS is what "my soul craves." Madonna Badger said in this episode of Super Soul Sunday that when she called someone up to share her grief one day, the other person on the phone told her to, "find someone to love you" and by "letting someone love you" she found healing.

I want to let this sink deeply within my soul and give it room to grow. And the next time someone offers kind words, gives me a gift, or when I reach out to share my grief, I will try to remember to feed my soul what it craves, by...

"Letting somebody love me!"


This is a cooperative blog a friend and I are writing, exploring different topics. This is her blog..
http://gentlegull.blogspot.com/2014/10/my-soul-craves.html

Alone...

Somedays, some weeks I just wish I had my "mommy" or " daddy" - that soft, safe place to fall when life has chewed you up and spite you out.  I have never had that and as much as I take care of myself and "be kind" it doesn't replace what the heart ache for - what every child should have available. I know I'm not alone in that feeling and it's not a unique feeling, but right at this present moment it feels like I am ALONE.

Your Own...

"Be your own kind of beautiful."

 This quote is what I will hold in my intentions for the day.

In each present moment I will strive to "be my OWN kind of beautiful" and not compare or wish I am anything other then my beautiful self.

Be Kind...

Today I need to remember to be kind to myself. When I fall out of my routines even for a day or two, or sometimes weeks, it's better to "be kind" and start again. It doesn't do any good to be mad at myself for slipping, or allowing other things to be more important. The best thing I can do for myself and those around me is accept my humanness and begin again!

Occasions...

I realized today after my birthday passed yesterday that years ago I needed occasions to be kind to myself. And this year on my birthday I had to work, but that was okay because I didn't need that special occasion to find a reason to do nice things for myself. I am learning in each passing moment to love and do sweet things for myself ~ just because!

Rough...

The last couple of days have been rough, so tonight I'm just going to love myself, forgive myself, and be kind to myself. Night Night all...

Your Best...

Always do your Best...

"Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstances, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse and regret."

Don Miguel Ruiz - The Four Agreements

I will try to not take myself to seriously today. I wasn't feeling good yesterday and when I feel like that I tend to give my thoughts way to much focus and power. I start feeling sorry for myself and wishing, hoping things were not as they are, when normally if I feel that and am feeling good, it's easier to give myself a bit of extra loving care. Today I will not listen to the thoughts that are screaming so loudly and "be kind" to myself, and "do my best."

Myself...

Forgiveness for me has not been a one time thing, especially when it's about me. Recently a recurring  situation came up and with that, it drew my attention to feelings I realize I've not fully forgiven myself for. So with awareness comes growth, and I once again have to be kind and forgive myself. One day something will bring it back to my attention and I will know the process of forgiveness for that issue will be done.

Human...

"Humankind Be Both"

http://www.zazzle.com/humankind_be_both_bumper_sticker-128457080722955536

While I was at work today I say a lady who had this saying, "Humankind ~ be both" on her t-shirt. I told her I loved what her shirt read and that I would blog about it to share with others. I found a bumper sticker that I loved with the saying on it too. So I will take this present moment to be more human AND more kind...

New LIfe...

My life is changing "for the better" and as I woke up this morning to see the Jeep that was gifted to me from a dear dear friend in my driveway, (that will replace a car that I'd been driving that will no longer be mine) ~ it felt like a "bud" of a new life. A new beginning that is both scary and exhilarating at the same time. I will continue to nurture this new start with small steps in each present moment. And when I'm in that scary place, I will be kind to myself, allow it to pass through and keep going. 

Being Kind to Yourself...

Feeling sick again, got me to pondering about when I'm feeling "not up to par" how I treat myself. Years ago when I had major surgery, people were surprised at how soon I was up and doing things, under the circumstances. Looking back, it was so much about how I loved myself. And now I can at least allow myself down time and let myself off the hook for accomplishing some things. It is still something I struggle with but it's nice to look back and see progress.

Growth...

The greatest gift you can ever give another person is your own happiness!

When I saw this photo it made me think about when a seed is planted, you never know if it will germanate and become something magnicent or not. But you do it anyway! As I am continue to work on "being kind" to myself, I'm hoping that the seed I'm planting will grow and provide a stronger foundation of strength and love for myself. I'm finding the more present I am in the moment the easier it is to pause, take a breath and remember ~ to love myself ~ unconditonally...

Deep Questioning

A sign of a good question is that the questioner is more alive for having asked it.

I'm trying to ask the good questions of myself. What is it my heart and soul are beckoning me to do? What is it that brings the most joy each day? How can I better serve the world? Was I kind and loving to myself today? Have I loved, laughed, and lived fully in this present moment?

Starting Over...

Today I woke up and knew I was feeling a bit off, but I thought I would go run a couple of errands anyway. After attempting to accomplish those things, I realize I had not brought with me what I needed to carry out the errands. So I decided to be kind and not beat myself up for what felt like wasted time and to just go home and "start over". And to see it through the eyes of gratitude would be to say, it wasn't far from home so I really didn't lose that much other then a little effort to get ready.  My list of "to do's" is long so I will just pick another item to accomplish and walk away in peace knowing I was kind to myself today ~ and that's a GOOD thing!