Change...

Change is hard sometimes, even in the smallest of things. I've had to recently change banks and I'm trying to get use to the new system. It seems like a small thing and I know once I get use to it, a year from now it will seem easy. But right now I just want to scream " I don't want to change, I liked it the way it was." Not so much because I loved where I was banking but because it was familiar. Good reminder that familiar is not always the best place to be. I guess I feel like I have so much stepping out of my comfort zone right now in my life I didn't welcome this unexpected change. But life, if nothing else, is about change, and I can either go kicking and screaming or allow it to be. So today I allowed myself to kick and scream a little and that's okay.

Bad vs Good

Why does it seem the good habits are harder to create and stick with then the bad? You think your brain would say - oooohhh this is nice, this feels good, keep doing it. But in pondering this question I realize it is my misplaced self esteem and wrong thinking that out weights feeling good. To feel good you have to give yourself permission, to allow it to continue and thrive. It is an automatic reflex to deny myself, to give up, give in, to put off until, to sacrifice, to never believe good things can happen for me. Those voices scream loud! But I can stop them, I can scream over them. I can yell, its not true, I don't believe you, I am worth all the good the universe has to offer. Only if I am present and aware. Drifting off into "if only", "it will never happen", "oh I wish, I wish" leaves you full of lack and regrets, and drowning in self pity. When the shadows of self doubt cast over you reach for the light. Reach until you feel the grace and goodness that is granted all of us. Today I scream - I AM WORTHY, I AM LOVED, I AM ME.......... let the good begin!