To Dream...

"Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable. " Mary Oliver 

Yesterday I realized I haven't been allowing myself to dream. I get stuck in my practical organizing everything, need to know ways and the open space for dreaming is full. And when the realization hits, I refer back to a poem that has always been relevant to my life called,

"Living The Questions"

"Be patient towards all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue, Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."

Rainer Maria Rike"s July 16. 1003 letter to Franz Xaver Kappus is included as the fourth letter in "Letters to a Young Poet."

... so today I dream.

Moving...

"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back everything is different..."

C.S. Lewis

It is funny when you live in the present moment, sometimes it feels like nothing is changing and then looking back your vision is clearer and you do see things different, even if it's only how you viewed it. Life doesn't stay stagnate, it is always moving. But there are times I have felt stuck while life swirls around me, then something comes along and jars me out of that place ~ even if it's only a change in perspective.

Story...

As I often do, I look for quotes to spark an idea to write for my blog. Today as I was scrolling, I come across some of the same ones I see a lot, like: "She believed she could, so she did." or " There is only one way to succeed at anything and that is to give everything." These are all well and good, and they do boost my enthusiasm but at the end of the day I'm still stuck. That is why I'm reaching out to talk to someone. I need someone's constant presence for awhile to walk me through this place. Sometimes it takes more then just believing and sometimes it takes asking for a hand to hold while you try. I have issues that have kept me in relationships and paralyzed in other areas of my life from stories I've been told and I've believed over the years and I now have space in my life to dig deeper.

I CAN,,,

My focus today is on what I CAN do and not on what I don't have control over. That feels so much better, and sometimes when I get stuck in my thinking, the present moment always offers another moment to begin again. So off I go to do all the things I CAN!

Willing...

"Standing in our power isn't about how wonderful we are, as much as it's about how willing we are. We are willing to give what we have. We are willing to let our own sad opinion of ourselves grumbles in the background, but not stop us from standing in the foreground or standing on the new ground of sharing our true selves."

Words from book: Inspired & Unstoppable

For me it goes back to that "being vulnerable thing." I have to gather courage to KNOW that I will be okay if exposed. And to want it more then not, because not exposing myself keeps me stuck! I'm willing to take small steps, like writing on this blog everyday. That is bold for me and the longer I do it the more comfortable I'm becoming. Then I'll take another step then another...

Freedom...

If you have felt trapped and imprisoned for a long time, freedom can feel unfamiliar and frightening.

Freedom comes in many forms. Having been out of a long relationship for a few years now I still found myself stuck. My thinking had been imprisoned and locked in a certain way of thinking. I didn't even realize the depth of my freedom. I kept hanging on to the familiar even if it wasn't making me happy and even though I knew it wasn't what I wanted. Then just the other day I had a "light bulb" moment. The thought kind of stuck me unexpected like a bolt of lightening - I am FREE. Yes, I am truly free. It still comes and goes in my mind as I try to wrap my head around the idea. To understand I can now step out of the prison I had placed myself in and the whole time forgetting there never was a key. I was free to walk out anytime. So on this July 4 holiday I am celebrating my freedom from my own imprisoned thinking.

Freedom waits on welcome, not on time. Freedom awaits your decision.

FEEL FREE!!!

resist yourself no more... walk free.