Hug...

As I stepped outside to check on my blueberry bushes I transplanted last week into pots so I could move them when needed, I just stopped. My back was to the sun, the air was a bit cool, and I just stood there feeling the rays of the sun on my back. It felt like a hug from mother nature... and it made me smile.

Trying...

" Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it"

David Foster Wallace

In this process of letting go of my house and everything that goes along with that, I'm trying for the first time in my life to not "let go without claw marks on it."  I want to be willing, to let the process flow in and out of my life and even though I'm not doing it perfectly, I keep trying.

Travels...

In my travels today, I passed a huge tree that had come out of the ground and fallen over. My first thought was "wow, what an magnificent tree and look at those amazing roots." Then I thought, " I hope when my time has come to return to the earth, that people are as in awe at the roots I've put down in my life and what a magnificent person I had become.

Live...

"Live everyday with intention"

I'm not sure I live with intention everyday. I think I forget about the present moment I'm in, and get lost in life. Maybe setting an intention each morning would help bring the awareness to my day.

Plants...

As I've been going through "stuff", sorting and deciding what to get rid of and what to keep, you really start looking at what I value and treasure. So as I was digging up my blueberry bushes ( even plants I consider "my stuff") to put in portable pots, I realized how much they mean to me. And I just kept looking around saying "oh and I need to dig up that and that." I'll end up with more plants then my actually house hold stuff!

Scary...

"Letting go is scary. It's a free fall, an act of surrender."

"We're not use to letting go. We're used to hanging on for dear life. We hang on for lots of reasons."

"We're simply afraid of the free fall, afraid of coming alive as ourselves."

"Letting go frees up your energy and your attention. In the open field of surrender lie the seeds of new possibilities."

Daphne Rose Kingma

In my process of letting go of my house, these are all good things I need to keep remembering. And letting go is not something that I only do once, it is part of life! When I'm done with this process there will be another and another. Each bringing me to a deeper sense of wonder and possibilities for my life. But as I stand in the midst of the emotions, I have a hard time seeing all that can and will be. But I am grateful to be surrounded by people that can see what I can not and one day I will look back and gaze upon the vision they knew was possible.

Hopes and Dreams...

I realized letting go of my house is the same as my marriage. It is more about letting go of the illusion of what I thought I had and wanted. Neither my marriage or my home had materialized to be what I had hoped and dreamed. So as I continue to shuffle and sort through all the stuff in my house, preparing to leave it behind, I mourn. I mourn for all that was and wasn't, and to start a new chapter in my life, filled with all my hopes and dreams!!!