It's in the Present Moments...

Today while my soul aches with grief, I sit outside among the trees, the warmth of the sun, the birds and mother nature. She gently reminds me to stay in the present moment and gather the smallest of moments that can drift by without notice and allow them to soften the sharp edges.

"My smallest of moments"...

A postcard of shared sorrow and hope

A friends shared tears and laughter

A small package of thoughtfulness

A meal offered and shared

A welcoming place to be

Animals with unconditional love

Quiet time with healing space

A car taken care of and safe to travel

Projects to work on, made with loving hands and heart 

Surrounded with art that speaks and soothes

and...human kindness that connects us all.

Hiding...

I'm not sure why I find it easier to hate myself and keep thinking I'm such an awful person when I have done something wrong. It feels like somehow if you hang on to those negative feeling about yourself that is your punishment for what had happened - Never allow yourself to move on, learn from it and forgive yourself because then the other person will know how I am holding myself accountable. But I can still do that in a positive way... that is why I posted my original blog - not for sympathy but because I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide from the world, then no one would know or perceive me as a "bad"person. But a fall from grace does not condemn me or make me unworthy. Apologizing and finding the self love to show up for life will allow others to come out of hiding if they find themselves feeling this way. Hating myself doesn't serve anyone and I'm not pretending nothing happened, I'm only trying to pass through this place in my life as gently as possible and as much as I fully understand another's pain that I caused, there are not enough apologies to fix what I broke. So I did what I felt was needed and now I wait for healing.

Out Loud...

A friend and I were chatting the other day by way of facebook and mentioned how saying something out loud helps the healing. And there is, something about saying "it" out loud that helps! So tonight I thought I would say something out loud because I keep trying to tell myself I need to get over it, but it clearly is not happening. See... I have/had a niece that is only five years younger then my oldest son and five years older then my middle son, and I was very close with her since she was little, but just in the past six months, she and her mother quit talking to me. I've reached out to them and have received NO response! My feelings are hurt and as much as I know it's more about them then me, I find myself filled with lost and sadness, that for whatever reason they no longer choose to communicate. So having said it out loud, maybe my heart will start to find some peace with questions that I may never have answers too and with what feels like such a great loss.

"I miss you ~ my dearest Kristin"

my heart will always hold that place where you fit

Human Touch...

The other night one of my children was having a really hard time with anxiety and when it's really bad I've started giving them a amateur massage ( I'm not trained ). The touch and relaxation really seems to help. I do that a lot to the dogs I walk too. I think human touch is SO important. So if you haven't hugged someone lately, held a hand or gently rubbed someone's back... decide to touch someone today and offer healing through... the human experience called touch!

Forgiveness...

"The answer to resistance is always forgiveness. Don't beat yourself up for what you didn't do yesterday or for the past three weeks or twenty seven years. Don't get lost in analyzing, rhapsodizing, or building monuments to your failure. Start now! Choose now! Enter the wondrous healing space of the only moment there is, this present moment."

I need to read this each and everyday to remind myself "it's never to late" and beating myself up for what feels like lost years, solves NOTHING! I can ~ Choose Now ~ this present moment!