Dear "Former" Mother-in-Law...

Dear Former Mother-in-Law,
It is with bittersweetness that I write you this letter. You were in my life for more than twenty years. I knew you before I knew your son. Things were never perfect but what family situation is, but I always felt you were my cheerleader in my life. You were what my mother was unable to be for me, and I thank you for that. You enjoyed the grandchildren and family time, you rose to the occasion even when you didn't always feel good. We have been through a lot together and it is the good that I hold dear.
Things did not work out as I had hoped and I know it was not the outcome you had anticipated either, but always know ( and I know you do, deep in your soul,) even though we do not speak to one another anymore, that you are loved and hold a special place in my heart and the heart of your grandchildren.

Loving Always,
Nancy

Empty Nest...

 

I am not sure if I will ever have an empty nest and that is okay with me either way.  And soon I will have my first granddaughter and I can't wait for her to fill any space I have in my life along with my children anytime they want to. It is nice to have open space to wander around in my life without having to worry about anyone but me sometimes. But I've enjoyed every stage of my children and I really can't imagine even if they decide to not live with me that my nest would ever be empty for long.

Victory...

Since I was a young teen I have always loved loved loved puzzles. I can remember growing up always having a puzzle laid out somewhere and working on it after school and on weekends. But as my life progressed to children and animals, there never seemed to be the time or a space to have a puzzle sitting around. So it feels like a small victory to have found a way to have a puzzle out ( children are older now) while avoiding my four cats losing all my pieces. So I am very excited, but now the hard part begins... learning to step away from the puzzle!!! I could sit there all day and night playing and enjoying. I'm just so glad to have that "joy" back in my life!

No Where...

Today was a day of rest for me. I did somethings around the house but mostly just did things I enjoyed. I read my book, I worked on my art journal, I slept in late, I worked on my health food blog, and most of all I went no where. That was the greatest thing of all!!!!

Blank...

 

Living far away from those you enjoy spending time with can sometimes be a challenge to stay connected. One of my dear friends is always coming up with really neat ideas to continue to reconnect with each other. The last thing we did since we both are bloggers, is to participate in a cooperative blog. We each came up with a set of topics, then we decided how often we wanted to blog together, then she put it on the calendar as reminders. That was fun because it gave me things to think about that I might other wise not. And I enjoyed sharing her perspective on the subjects too. Now her newest idea is to do a cooperative art journal ( we have done our own as well and she even hand made this one for me) and exchange them periodically either in person if we are so lucky to get together or by mail.Then we would add something to the others journal and exchange again until it is full. But I found myself, as it always has been, intimidated by the blank page and the ideas of what I want to do with it. But with this awareness I am trying to let that go and just "flow" with the process. So I find myself a tiny bit excited to watch it all unfold.

PJ's...

Today was a rare day of no where to go, so I just stayed in my pajamas and enjoyed the day. I played, cleaned, slept and cooked! So nice to call a day my own. Part of me wanted to just do a whole lot of nothing and if I'd had another day on which to play I might have but I tried to do a little of all I wanted to get done. I enjoyed "my" day!

Questioning...

A friend today wrote a post about friendships, and after reading it, it my heart felt sad. Sad that my life is not what I had hoped it would be and I try hard everyday to not question the road I'm on,because I don't have the answers and if I dwell to long there I get too depressed. I LOVE my group of friends, they are the closest I've ever had in my life, and right now because of circumstances I have been distance from all of them... I SO miss our gatherings full of laughter and conversation. Our children mingling together, food brought and shared by all.  Even if I was talking, I enjoyed being in their presence. Life is about living the questions but sometimes it's hard not to want to know... And sometimes it's about seeing it all in a different way ~ but I'm not quite there yet.

Fiction...

I finally had some time to finish a fiction book I was reading called "When Mockingbirds Sing" by Billy Coffey. I picked it up at the library and really enjoyed it. When I read books, I love to pick out the lines that say so much and as a writer myself, I love to devour the delicious lines that add so much yummy to the book. Here are a couple of the lines I loved...

"He preferred the deep beneath the words where only truth dwelt." (pg.211)

"Mabel was in a place where there's just now." (pg. 222)

"Believe in the maybe." (pg. 219)

Capture...

I was coming back from a trip to the grocery store and it was about 10 minutes after 5 in the evening. The setting sun was so beautiful, leaving a golden hue lingering behind the barren tree limbs. I got my cell phone out to try and capture the moment, but it wasn't working. It was a good reminder that some present moments aren't meant to be captured, only enjoyed and let go.

Moments...

Some moments are captured on video, in pictures, or in a painting, but some moments are just meant to be enjoyed and set free!

Secret...

As the sunshines starts the melting of snow and ice I have secretly enjoyed the forced captivity. I am such a home body. I could stay home for weeks and it wouldn't bother me. It was nice to know it wasn't a decision I was making to not go anywhere or do anything - I couldn't. The world as I knew it STOPPED. It was so quiet, no cars and business of the day, just blanketed in pure white snow and then ice. I relished in the thought of not having to make excuses to myself or others why I couldn't or didn't go anywhere. It was decided for me! That is my little secret I'll let you in on this new year - looks like I will be headed out today into the world once again.