Give Sorrow Words... ~ Macbeth, William Shakespeare

Today - My grief swells like the wave that swells and collects all that lay beneath, then scatters it upon the sand, exposed and raw. Today - I find comfort in others words, words that express more then my soul is able to say.

~Sometimes the purpose of the day is to merely feel our sadness, knowing that as we do, we allow whole layers of grief, like old skin cells to drop off us. ~ Marianne Williamson

~"Ah, I smiled. I'm not really here to keep you from freaking out. I'm here to be with you while you freak out, or grieve, or laugh, or suffer, or sing. It is a ministry of presence. It is showing up with a loving heart." ~Kate Braestrup, Here If You Need Me: A True Story 

~Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical, and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve. ~ Earl Grollman

~"Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot ever imagine you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope." ~Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

~Those who have suffered understand suffering and therefore extend their hand. ~ Patti Smith

The Wishies...

As I was out quieting my mind this morning, I noticed the dandelion seeds, which I have always called "wishies" and are definitely on my favorite things list, floating across the sky and how they will land somewhere and something will grow. It got me to thinking about how when I put my loving thoughts out into the universe you never know what good or loving things will grow from them. And even when I extend those same thoughts for myself how much better I flourish and feel about each present moment I am in. So today I send the seeds of, PEACE, LOVE and JOY to grow and spread upon all those in need. Take what you like and spread the rest!

The Roller Coaster Ride...

Roller coasters are on my "least favorite things" list, but that is what my life is right now and I am trying to figure out how to "enjoy the ride" with the least resistance. I felt better yesterday, but today I let one little potential setback throw me on the downward spiral and I don't want to go there. If this is my life right now then I have to go with all the ups and downs with grace, patience and love for myself that I can muster. Its hard trusting the outcome, even when you have a plan, things shift, change and that doesn't always mean for the worse. I can expect more then I could have ever imagined for myself and my children and I may have to take a different route and head a different direction. And for those who know me well, know driving and going places unknown is on the top of my "least favorite list!" So this roller coaster ride is quit the challenge for me.

What i need from You...

Today was a dark day of not being able to see the forest for the trees. Of hope lost and answers to questions that rang hollow in my soul. I need you to hold the space for me. To hold hope, encouragement, kindness and love to see me through when I am lost. I know this too shall pass, but when your sitting in the dark looking for light, and you see non - it gets scary. Your what I hold onto when I forge ahead blindly, that kind word, that small gesture, these are the moments of brightness I use until my strength returns but until then... this is what I need from you.

Thank You

Reconstructing A Life...

My life goes on... driving, cleaning, cooking, shopping, making phone calls, talking with friends, watering plants, getting dressed... but in the shadow, lingers grief and an unsettled unknowing of how to "reconstruct a new life." The people that surround me have not changed, mother nature provides her constant  beauty that is unwavering, and my children remain ever present and close. These are the things I hold onto as I stumble along, looking for refuge, while newness comes each day asking for my assistance.
I'm reminded that reconstruction comes with time... one step at a time. What was. is gone, you sift through the rubble and hold on to the good, while letting go of all that no longer serves you. You listen closer, now that the noise of the past is silent...and you begin!