No thoughts...

Sometimes I am having no thoughts about anything in particular. At first I thought maybe that wasn't a good thing. I should have something I'm thinking about or wanting to work on. But today I don't have anything. Just enjoying the quiet morning, the leaves changing colors, the wonderful food options I have to choose from, reminders of people in my life that love me, work that is keeping me busy, birds that are chirping, cats that are looking to snuggle, books that I like to read, stores that are close by in case I should want for something, a car that sits in my driveway waiting for me, a computer that is available to keep me connected, and just this present moment to remember that it's okay to "just be".

Haiku...

The wind blowing cold

Leaves rain down as colors splash

Fall invites herself

Good morning...

It seems like in the past several years my getting up in the morning has gotten later and later coinciding with my going to bed later and later. Not sure how the late nights started creeping up on me. I keep telling myself it's okay and to just go with the flow. For many years I had to be up early when the kids were little and now that they are so much older maybe I've relaxed that part of me a little. Trying not to decide whether it is right or wrong just calling it an observation in my life.

Commitment...

I friend once said to me "commitment is something you decided everyday". This is what I want to do for myself... to wake up each morning and set my intention to be committed to myself as I would anyone else. For me that means, unconditional love, acceptance. patience and forgiving. I give them out so freely to others but forget to do the same for myself. Somehow I think I have different requirements and my expectations seem to be under higher standards then everyone else. So I am taking a step back and looking in the mirror with kinder eyes and what I see is someone who is loving, kind, and compassionate. When I commit to seeing "her" in the mirror everyday... Life is good.

My Biggest Fear...

IS... that I will never be loved by a wonderful man.

(I find myself feeling silly and embarrassed to say it, but I need to put it out in the Universe. To release and allow the feeling to be set free.)

It's not a rational thought but it is a very deep rooted fear that I've never expressed to anyone. I'm shining the light on it so it can flourish and be nourished to grow into something beautiful. To let go of the fear that has no place in my life anymore and to start replacing it with what I really know to be true... I am lovable and I am loved. I deserve to be loved by a wonderful man who is generous, honest and kind. That it is safe to be vulnerable and have all the happiness and joy that is available to everyone. This I know for sure...

So I will lay this fear to rest and mourn no more for what I fear will never be. With this release I open myself up to ALLOW and I am grateful.