FLOW....

My word this year is... FLOW! Yes - flow with an exclamation mark! I have spent most of my life resisting what is and not allowing for fear of the unknown. But this past year working in an art journal has really helped me walk into the unknown a little more willing and a little less resistant. So that is why I picked the word flow. I want the unknown to flow freely in and out of my life. I want "all" to pass through my life with our judgment or labels and just let it be and - F....L....O....W.................................................

Jealous...

 

I found myself having a hard time feeling like I needed to let go of jealousy with a particular person in my life. Then I realized I didn't need to get rid of it, but dig deeper into what that feeling was trying to tell me. And it was FEAR... fear that I would never have what they seem to have right now. That I will always be left without - that special someone that would love me. A relationship to share my vulnerability, my laughter, my tears, my children, my hopes and dreams. Someone to chat with about life and love, that person to feel accepted and genuinely cared about. The jealousy has not left me yet, so I will give it a safe place to be for now without judgement or labels and love myself until...

Give up...

The other day I talked about finding simplicity, so today's post is just a tiny piece in the puzzle that will someday provide the beautiful picture that will be my new life. I have decided to "give up" one of the many jobs I am doing. It does not serve me anymore and it will open up space for something more in line with what I am looking for. This thought has been rolling around in my head for a week or so. FEAR, being the master of those thoughts. But with quiet meditation to tame the "beast called fear" I have decided to leap and let it go. It feels good deep down inside where that small whisper resides. So today I am one small step closer to where I want to be!

Fly...

"I always wonder why birds stay in the same place when they can fly anywhere on earth. Then I ask myself the same question."

Harun Yahya

This is a good question to ponder... Why do I choose to stay stuck, when I could do anything on earth I wanted? FEAR... my usual answer. But now what? Fear is the answer what is the solution? Putting one foot in-front of the other and doing it anyway!

Anything...

"When you do what you fear most, then you can do anything."

Stephen Richards

I'm trying to believe that's true. Most days it seems like everything I'm doing is fearful and somedays are not. I will cling to the present moment because I know it holds just what I need to see. If I look no further then the fear is managable.

Bigger...

"Anything that looks like chaos and calamity in your life is just he Universe's way of saying, Trust me and we'll make a life together that is beyond your wildest dreams. The key is to trust. There's a bigger vision and purpose inside you that your small brain or Ego can imagine. The Universe has bigger and better plans for you. It's job to be of service and not get in your own way. You can only receive what you believe. When you trust you open yourself up to greater possibilities outside of your control or imagination. So what's it gunna be? Fear or Trust?

Anon

This will be my mantra today... TRUST.  It's a moment by moment struggle, and with each present moment I do the best that I can and remember to keep picking up TRUST every time I drop it.

Steps...

"We are grateful for fear, but allow ourselves to make a choice from a higher place, from a place of trust. The ironic thing is that once we die to fear, we can live. So living does require that we die, that we die to our fears, our doubts, and our old ways of thinking. We must take that first scary step out with trust that we will either know how to fly or that we will be caught.

http://thedailylove.com

You would think as many times in my life as I've taken that first scary step it would become easier. But today it doesn't feel like it. Maybe because each of the different steps is another fear that needs to be conquered. And I can look back on my other experiences and KNOW, that trust brought me through and I either learned how to fly or I was caught. 

F.E.A.R.

F.E.A.R. ~ False Evidence Appearing Real

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/suza-scalora/miracles_b_1544393.html

An excerpt from the article:

"We've all experienced the strength of negative thoughts. If we are not aware in the present moment they can quickly sneak up on us and drag us down the rabbit hole of disconnection, despair and depression.

Near the end of Lama Tenzin's visit he was asked if he believed global peace would one day become a reality. After a long pause he said, "The enemy is within."

He then pointed out: Love exists within each of us, as does the enemy.

How often do we believe the enemy is someone or something outside ourselves?

So... if the enemy is within, then what exactly is this villainous darkness lurking inside all of us? Fear. False Evidence Appearing Real.

Fear is the consummate shape-shifter, disguising itself in many forms: anxiety, stress, worry, overwhelm, blame, judgment, gossip, anger, hate, resentment, and criticism."

Today I will hold tight to remember FEAR is False Evidence Appearing Real as my children search for answers to a situation that affects them deeply, and right now I have NO clear answer to offer. 

Courage and Fear...

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear."

Nelson Mandela

When I saw this picture, it made me think of courage and fear. When darkness (fear) of the storm collides with the beauty (courage) of the sun, you get a brilliant rainbow! As when I am brave and can triumph over my fears, I feel as awesome as that rainbow looks. It is not something I will wake up one day and be done with, each fear must be conquered. But I know I do not walk this path alone. We all must face what we fear or be consumed by it.

Courage...

      A friend of mine had a vision/collage get-together that I was not able to attend. It was to start off the new year with a word and vision you wanted to focus on through out the year. Mine I decided, was going to be COURAGE. I need courage to step out of my comfort zone and into the unknown. If I am to create what I want in my life, then courage is what I need! Courage doesn't come with a manual, so I will borrow from what life has to offer. 

     Other people's lives offer insight into what it means to be courageous, quotes keep me reminded, and practice of showing up for myself is a daily dose of courage. A wise man once said,

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. "

- Nelson Mandela

Taming the FEAR...

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself... --Franklin D. Rossevelt

(One ) definition of tame is : make wild and frightening people, animals or things calm and gentle.

I find myself running into fear on a moment by moment basis. It twists my thoughts and distorts my view but I have to "tame"the fear or it will devour me. I do not want to scare it or wish it didn't exist, I only want to tame it - allow it's presents in my life but let it know who is in charge. I am in charge - of my life, my thoughts, my desires, my dreams. It is an ongoing battle but one I have to be present for in each moment because it has a way of sneaking up and surprises me when I least expect it and I have to be ready to challenge its statements. It tells me give up, your to old, etc. and each time I have to ask - is it true? If the answer is no then I replace it with a true statement. But fear is meant to alert us and sometimes that answer to the statement is yes and I then walk away or try a different choice.

My Biggest Fear...

IS... that I will never be loved by a wonderful man.

(I find myself feeling silly and embarrassed to say it, but I need to put it out in the Universe. To release and allow the feeling to be set free.)

It's not a rational thought but it is a very deep rooted fear that I've never expressed to anyone. I'm shining the light on it so it can flourish and be nourished to grow into something beautiful. To let go of the fear that has no place in my life anymore and to start replacing it with what I really know to be true... I am lovable and I am loved. I deserve to be loved by a wonderful man who is generous, honest and kind. That it is safe to be vulnerable and have all the happiness and joy that is available to everyone. This I know for sure...

So I will lay this fear to rest and mourn no more for what I fear will never be. With this release I open myself up to ALLOW and I am grateful.

Fear... and answers

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎"The presence of fear is a sure sign you're trusting in your own strength."

A COURSE IN MIRACLES

This week I had plumbing issues at my house. At first I was mad at myself because I knew better then to put food down the garbage disposal because it has clogged up before. But I did it anyway and wa-la..... CLOGGED drain. Fear came and went. I thought I can do this, I can manage this problem, it's happened before. Then as nothing was working fear come back, oh no what am I going to do know. Is it a problem bad enough to call the plumber, do I know anyone who would know anything about plumbing and do I have the nerve to ask them, what should I do. Then the fear would subside and I would try again... nothing. I decided to go to bed visualize and let go and as I did, the universe provided an answer. A friend of a friend offered to come help. AWESOME!!! I was thrilled and went to the sink once more to give it one last plunge and that did the trick. But I now know that my "presence of fear was a sure sign I was trusting on my own strength" to figure it out. That is a big lesson I am learning on this journey of life, I don't have to "do it all myself", and that is feeling really good right now.

Nothing to fear but fear itself

I FORGET -

I am not on this journey alone. There are others to help and encourage. My shoulders get heavy when I put more on them then I need too. I am only one person and I can't do everything. My "to do" list seems to be getting longer and longer. So for today I will choose not to look at it and choose to know ALL IS WELL. I don't want my present moments to be filled with FEAR, for there IS nothing to fear but fear itself. Thank you to all who walk along beside me because sometimes I - FORGET.

the eagle flies high

feeling free in his present moment

let my spirt follow