Re-Connect...

Sometimes for me, it takes more then a few hours, a brief encounter to re-connect with those I hold dear. Recently I got a chance to hang out with friends for longer then a couple of hours and it felt SO good. It felt like they were back in that place in my heart that holds a space for them when we're not around each other. It filled that spot that was longing for the familiar acceptance, laughter and love that I find when I'm with them.

Best Thing...

For days I was hanging out in a place that was full of children. They were excited, running back and forth and up and down, soaking up everything around them. I never get tired of watching the child like innocence, their wonder and pure JOY that they seem to get from the very present moment their in. Children are the best thing every!!!

A Good Read....

I read a lot of non-fiction books and right now I'm reading a fiction book called "The Glass Kitchen.". It's a nice change of pace and a good "mind escape." I'm enjoying this author so much that I'm already looking forward to reading the other book she's written.

Down Time....

It is so nice to have some down time, meaning no walking unless I want to, no "have to's" or getting up early to get out the door, but just to sit for hours, laugh, share meals with friends, and watch my children and their friends enjoy each others company. I'm soaking up each present moment...

Your Own...

"Be your own kind of beautiful."

 This quote is what I will hold in my intentions for the day.

In each present moment I will strive to "be my OWN kind of beautiful" and not compare or wish I am anything other then my beautiful self.

Silver Lining...

"Reflect on a time when your pain or perceived problem turned out to be the beginning of a whole new possibility for yourself, perhaps even a blessing in disguise."

My father decided when I was 15 after a horrible fight with my mother that he no longer wanted to participate in our ( my sister and I) lives. He left and went off to marry another lady who had two daughters just like he left behind. He came back once but my mother told him if he wasn't going to pay child support he should leave and he did. I did not see him again until I was married and a mother but that visit didn't go well. We parted ways never to speak again until his death. 

I distinctly remember the day I realized my father leaving was a silver lining in my life. I was driving down to Charlotte, I was about 30 years old then ( I'm 54 now) and the light bulb moment hit me. He was an active alcoholic and had he stayed, things could have been SO much worse. So many of those abandonment issues drifted away that day. I still am grateful today that it happened that way it did. And right before he died I was given one last chance to mend a broken connection. His family called me and he was not able to speak at this point, but they said he wanted to "talk to me." I of course talked, since he could not and I let him know it was all okay and that I loved him very much. He died after they hung up the phone. His unfinished business on this earth was done. 

My father not being in my life ( as crazy as it was without him) I'm not sure I could have handled the situation with him the way he was. I felt my spirit was spared a lot of things I will never know the full extent of. Today I only feel forgiveness and love for my father. He did the best he knew how with what he had. So what seemed like abandonment from my father now only feels like love.

A friend's perspective on her silver lining... http://gentlegull.blogspot.com/2014/08/seeing-silver-lining.html

Face...

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

I have been doing dog walking for quit a while now and sometimes just that sweet look or that lick on your face can change my whole outlook... 

Swing...

Today as I was out walking a dog, we came across a swing hanging from a tree. I had to smile thinking of all the love, laughter and joy that must be hanging around it. A swing just offers an invitation for FUN. I still enjoy a good swing to swing on ~ it feels so carefree!

Sea...

"Let the sea set you free."

I hope to do this very soon ~ visit the sea! There is something hypnotic about sitting at the oceans edge, or watching a river flow down stream. For the present moment I'm there, it takes all my cares away and even for a brief time I feel free.

Share...

"What I love most about my home is who I share it with."

Tad Carpenter

I love so many things about my home, but I would have to say the very best thing is "who I share it with" and all those that have passed through, for however long they were here! My home is where my heart is ~ always!

Friday...

I've had a marathon of a week and it won't be over until about 9 tonight. But I have a small window of time in-between one thing until the other and I am SO tired, I'm taking a short nap and a few present moments to catch my breath. It feels so good to pause...

Love...

"Fall in love with moments"

I liked the way this sounded when I read it. It felt simple and it was about being present to "fall in love with the moment your in." My mind is always scattered in SO many different directions that I often times lose that "present moment" to fall in love with.

Grandmother...

I was informed yesterday that I am now joining the rakes of all those that came before me called, "Grandmother." My emotions have swung to and fro but nine months from now I will meet my first grandchild! It's a strange feeling but one I can't wait to celebrate. I love you already "wee one"... my first born son ( my baby) is now having his own baby!

Sometimes...

Sometimes life hands you a situation and you are left to wrestle with your emotions. That is what I have done all afternoon. I think I have come to a peaceful conclusion that my heart can live with. Life is constantly asking us to dig a little deeper and find that place within, that may not be perfect but offers our soul a safe resting place.

Refuge...

"The library had become her solace. Her refuge. Books did not question or judge. They made safe companions."

Inglath Cooper, Truth and Roses: A Love Story

We all need a place of refuge from life. I'm glad my children feel that way about their home and with friends and families homes. To find refuge to relax, to not have to feel like you have to be anything but your imperfect, perfect self is a time to gather strength to keep moving forward in each present moment.  When I'm not able to be with those people who provide solace, I find it in books, nature, food, art, quiet time, and animals.

Hair...

My hair has been going gray since I was 25 and I'm very low maintenance when it comes to that kind of thing. But every now and then in the past few months people have come up to tell me how they love my gray hair. Every once in awhile I think maybe I should dye it and look ten years younger and maybe I wouldn't be mistaken for my daughters grandmother. But then I think... Nope! Then when someone tells me how they like my gray hair, it makes me feel good.

Need...

Sometimes I need to find what makes me happy. Something to make me smile, and one of those little things is simply looking at the garden category on Pinterest. I could sit all day and just keep scrolling through, wanting to do, but only looking at all the ideas. It makes me smile and my heart happy!

NO...

"Sometimes the best thing you can do is not think, not wonder, not imagine, not obsess. Just breath and believe that everything will work our for the best."

I need this often!!!! 

NO thinking, NO wonder, NO imagining and NO obsessing!

JUST BREATH in this present moment... and believe that "all is well."

Kindness...

Today while on my break during work, I was sitting in the back seat of my car in the parking lot, eating my lunch and a little while later a lady parked a few spaces beside me. When she got out of her car she stopped for a minute and noticed me sitting in the back seat. I'm not sure what she thought or was going through her mind when she saw me, ( I didn't think I looked too unusual) but she asked if I was alright. I told her I was good, and I was just on break from work. But thanked her, and then thought how kind it was of her to check on me "just in case."

Each Day...

"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."

John Burroughs

I was feeling this way today. It seems like when I finally have spaces of time in my day or days I have so much to fit in, so many thoughts, things I want ( not to mention need to do) to get done, and people I wish I had more time for. Sometimes it's hard to balance all the "have to", "want to", "hope to"s."

A Bird...

"A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not in the branch, but on her own wings."

I have posted this quote before but it was a good reminder for me today to remember my strength is not dependent on the branch I am sitting on or what will happen to that branch. My strength lies internally and when I trust in that "knowing" no matter what happens or where I am my strength does not faultier.