"Reflect on a time when your pain or perceived problem turned out to be the beginning of a whole new possibility for yourself, perhaps even a blessing in disguise."
My father decided when I was 15 after a horrible fight with my mother that he no longer wanted to participate in our ( my sister and I) lives. He left and went off to marry another lady who had two daughters just like he left behind. He came back once but my mother told him if he wasn't going to pay child support he should leave and he did. I did not see him again until I was married and a mother but that visit didn't go well. We parted ways never to speak again until his death.
I distinctly remember the day I realized my father leaving was a silver lining in my life. I was driving down to Charlotte, I was about 30 years old then ( I'm 54 now) and the light bulb moment hit me. He was an active alcoholic and had he stayed, things could have been SO much worse. So many of those abandonment issues drifted away that day. I still am grateful today that it happened that way it did. And right before he died I was given one last chance to mend a broken connection. His family called me and he was not able to speak at this point, but they said he wanted to "talk to me." I of course talked, since he could not and I let him know it was all okay and that I loved him very much. He died after they hung up the phone. His unfinished business on this earth was done.
My father not being in my life ( as crazy as it was without him) I'm not sure I could have handled the situation with him the way he was. I felt my spirit was spared a lot of things I will never know the full extent of. Today I only feel forgiveness and love for my father. He did the best he knew how with what he had. So what seemed like abandonment from my father now only feels like love.
A friend's perspective on her silver lining... http://gentlegull.blogspot.com/2014/08/seeing-silver-lining.html
What a gift you were able to give yourself!
ReplyDelete