Blind...

As I carry my grief with me out into the world, it's a blind presence that no one can see but I feel it in everything I do. Whether I'm at the grocery store or walking a dog, it's there. It reminded me today to have a little more compassion for that person who "seemed" a bit rude, or uncaring, because you never know what's going on in their life.

Soft...

"Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."

Kurk Vonnegut

I need to remember today that my past experience don't define my present moment. I can be "soft" in this world and know that I am okay, because I am loved and am capable of loving. The world is a beautiful place!

Storm...

"We are what we believe we are."

C.S. Lewis

I've had a rough couple of weeks and tonight I feel weary. Just SO tired of the struggle. I know the conclusion to this story is almost over but the storm gets strong at times and is hard to stand tall and wait it out ~To wait for what you know is on the other side... 

So tonight I'm going to bed believing I am a strong, beautiful, confident, loving woman who deserves the best the Universe has to offer!

It's Personal...

Today I took a "personal day" to do "almost" nothing. I stayed in my bed until about 2pm and finally got up to eat. Then went back to bed, slept a little more, watched TV, and just did as little as possible! It felt good not to even get out of my PJ's, not to "have to" go anywhere or feel like I needed to do anything! I've done this before, it happens about once or twice a year. It feels like I'm resetting my mind and starting over. Sometimes I just need a little "up close and personal time."

Christmas...

"Wherever you are, whoever you are with, my deepest wish is that today you feel LOVE, connection and know that you are enough, as is."

The Daily Love

Merry Christmas to All and to all a good night...

Creative Process...

This Christmas bulb in the picture is something I've been working on for a couple of days now. It's not perfect but that is okay and that is an unusual feeling for me when it comes to creativity. I just decided to wing it and see what I came up with. My oldest son got married two months ago and I wanted to make something using the invitation. Over my many years around this planet, I usually would not even attempt this project because I thought I might fail so I would never even start. So I have to say I'm quite proud of myself. I good feeling to close out another Christmas, another year!

A day...

Today my daughter had a tough day of great anxiety, so we just hung out together running errands and taking extra special care of her gentle soul. She seems to be feeling better this evening and it's in tending to one's soul, when needed, that we can move forward and allow the present moment to flow.

Falling...

"Sometimes when things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place."

This is something that I need to remind myself often. When it all looks like it's falling apart it's hard to remember that it could be actual falling into place. It's all how you choose to look at it ~The cup is either half full or half empty!

Human...

"Humankind Be Both"

http://www.zazzle.com/humankind_be_both_bumper_sticker-128457080722955536

While I was at work today I say a lady who had this saying, "Humankind ~ be both" on her t-shirt. I told her I loved what her shirt read and that I would blog about it to share with others. I found a bumper sticker that I loved with the saying on it too. So I will take this present moment to be more human AND more kind...

Continue...

"What you allow is what will continue."

With each passing present moment I hope I can be open to allow more and more "good" and "beautiful" people and things into my life. Because what I "allow" WILL continue...

Capture...

I was coming back from a trip to the grocery store and it was about 10 minutes after 5 in the evening. The setting sun was so beautiful, leaving a golden hue lingering behind the barren tree limbs. I got my cell phone out to try and capture the moment, but it wasn't working. It was a good reminder that some present moments aren't meant to be captured, only enjoyed and let go.

Shopping...

Something to accept about myself... 

Christmas shopping, present shopping, or shopping for things other then food causes me great anxiety. I don't really know why and this time of year I start beating myself up because I feel like I "shouldn't" be that way. So I decided to be kinder to myself and try and accept that is just a part of who I am. I'm not perfect and my hope is that those I love don't base my genuine feelings for them on gift giving.

Furry...

As I was doing my many pet sits today, I thought how nice it was of the owners to pay someone to come in at least once or twice a day just to walk and play with their animals. If your going to be gone all day most everyday, what a great gift for your pet. Hats off to all the pet owners out there... I applaud you for your extra loving care to your furry family members.

A day of love...

While doing a food demo yesterday, somedays the times goes by slow and sometimes fast. Yesterday was a very slow day, so I usually use it to people watch or write things down that I need to work on. What I notices yesterday was a lot of love, from grandparents enjoying their grandkids, parents being patient and loving with their children, couples young and old holding hands and just lots of good cheer! It left me feeling like there really is a lot of love in the world, happy people loving each other, parents genuinely enjoying being with their children. At times my world is small and though it is filled with all those things, I don't see a whole mass of interacting with a large group like that. So it was nice... to watch a " day of love" go by me one person at a time!

Realize...

"Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have."

Eckhart Tolle

With the hurry of everyday life, I forget to "realize deeply" that this present moment I am in, is all I ever have. When I'm lost in the unknown of my future, or dwell in the past, I lose present moments that cannot be refunded! So let me enjoy NOW...

Laugh...

" Laugh until your belly hurts and then just a little more!"

I LOVE to laugh and I love to laugh until it hurts sometimes. It just feels so good. But there are times I forget to put more laughter in my day - in my life! So this is just to remind myself to lighten up, find something that will make me laugh until my belly hurts!

"They" say, "Laughter is the best medicine."

Valuable...

"Remind yourself of how much you have to give and how precious and valuable your giving is."

This is what I need to remind myself daily about what I have to offer. And to remember just how precious and valuable that offering is to others. 

Mentor...

Everyone in life should be assigned a mentor while growing up if you don't have one. Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a register to be able to sign up if you need one and receive your very own mentor to help you in your life. For me, not growing up with anyone to really be there to guide me, answer questions, boost my confidence, be my cheerleader, serve as a role model, I've found it hard so many times in my life to move forward and try thing or be adventurous. I have this beautiful woman helping me, guiding me, nudging me ever so gentle, and just being my genuine friend and it is truly wonderful. It's hard to describe what it feels like to have someone do that for you, when it's something they don't have to do. To give of themselves so lovingly to benefit another... a gift that is priceless!

Encouraging...

There are times when others words say just what I need. Here are some encouraging words that helped me today...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It was all a matter of consciously applying my focus. Grievances came from looking backward. But miracles come from focusing on the life in front of me, and the power of the current."

" It doesn't matter how many situations you've blown or missed or turned into nightmares. We live in an abundant universe. It's always waiting to help you turn your life around."

"It takes wild courage to start again. It takes power to drop the past and give everything to our current lives."

" Let go of what didn't happen this year the way you thought it should. The Universe is always giving. There's so much love coming down the pike. There are ideas, shifts, and opportunities flying your way. There are so many chances to begin again and again and it's always the perfect time and you've never missed out. It's all here for you. Only we limit what we allow ourselves to receive."

http://www.tamakieves.com/

Smile...

Leave it to the animals of the world to make me smile. These four kittens reminds me of the four cats I have. Mine weren't this color but just as cute. They are now all five years old and still bring a smile when needed.

Heart...

"Love begins by taking care of the closest ones - the ones at home."

Mother Teresa

I always felt, taking care of the ones at home was where my heart ALWAYS belonged.

And I still do!

Focus...

"Focus on what matters"

I was mentioning to a friend that it is hard to find focus when so many things are calling for my attention. But it's nice to have her nudge me alone for something that means so much to me. But all the while not loosing site of the importance of self focus and nurturing the self love needed to provide the strength to keep following the path, even when the roads signs are confusing as to which direction to go.

Extra...

A hard emotional night = being extra kind and loving to ourselves. Sometimes there is no way around the emotions that creep up and scare you unexpectedly but it is becoming more of a reflex now when I'm feeling "the scary" to back off and allow it to be there and show myself the additional tender loving care I would if it were someone else. 

Capable...

"There is no passion to be found playing small - in setting for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living."

Nelson Mandela

Thanks for the wise words...

Happy...

"When I went to school they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "Happy." they told me I didn't understand the assignment, and I told them they didn't understand life."

John Lennon

Sometimes life hands you circumstances that don't make you happy, but happy isn't always contingent on circumstances. I can CHOOSE to find some happiness through whatever I'm going through. Today I'm doing just that!

Progress...

"Because we do not know what is going to happen next, if we choose to prevent or resist the present moment, we may actually be interrupting a miracle in progress."

http://thedailylove.com

I'm trying to allow the present moment I'm in to flow freely and not resist it's progress. There are bigger and better plans for me and my family and my job is to keep moving through with as much grace and love as I can. My heart is still grieving but as I put my trust in the process of life, I can watch the miracle unfold before my very eyes.

Receive...

"When the uni-verse takes something from your grasp, it is not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better."

Mastin Kipp

This is my hope as things in my life are going away ~ that my hands will be ready to receive something better then I could ever imagine! That I can allow ALL the new possibilities to flow without resistance.

Okay...

"it"ll all be okay"

Judge...

"There's a story behind every person. There's a reason why they're the way they are. Think about that before you judge someone."

Your Soul...

"Take time to do what makes your soul happy"

Happy...

Happy Thanksgiving to those I love!

Next Step...

"Things started to shift when I made the commitment to find direction in my moment-to-moment experience. the big picture was way too nebulous, but I realized that in each moment there was a kernel of truth, a clarity, a "yes" that showed me my next step."

When the big picture seems to overwhelming, I can scale it back and just look at what's in my present moment. Then comes small moments of clarity to show me my next step. It's still scary, but it's like  the time I was trying to cross a bridge that was ( what felt like to me) a little unstable and rickety, a friend walked behind me and encouraged me and was there for me to accomplish what felt like it was "un-doable." But taking one small step at a time, I crossed that bridge!

Candles...

I love candles! They provide such a safe and warm feeling in the evening when the sun has gone down and night arrives. I have a fireplace, but it uses regular logs and once they have burned down your left with the cold air coming in through the flue until it has cooled off enough to close it. So candles provides me that oh so nice "pretend" fire feeling. My oldest son laughs because I always ask for candles every year and he says I'm the only person he know that actually uses candles when there given.

All Mine...

Today is the first day in a very long time that I can say "it's all mine." I have nobody asking anything of me today and it feels good. I have many things on my to-do list but I don't have to fit them in-between something or get them done at a certain time. Nope... I can do whatever I want or don't want today. So I'm savoring this present moment and will look forward to more!

Connected...

"I am learning to trust the journey even when I do not understand it."

Mila Bron

With each present moment that passes, with each encouraging word and help from a friend, with each piece of the process that falls into place, helps me "trust" in this journey that I don't understand where it's headed. And I think for the first time in my life I finally "know" that I am not going through this alone. I feel surrounded in love and that alone helps me to trust. We are not meant to walk this life by ourselves ~ we are all connected to the journey...

 Thanks for walking beside me as I continue to trust!

Fall Haiku...

Fall leaves drip there color

 The Autumn sky drinks it in

Leaving memories

Strength...

"The task ahead of you is never greater than the strength within you."

... there is great strength within! I can do this ~ and the greatest part, is I don't have to do it alone!!!

Phoenix...

With wisdom comes "knowing." 

I always tell my kids when they seem astonished when I share something or know the probable out come of a situation, "that's why they call it wisdom." It's meant to be shared and passed down. It's a perk of growing older." But I can draw on it too. When my heart feels like it can't hurt anymore or any worse, I "KNOW" that there light at the end of the tunnel. That there is a rainbow behind the clouds and I will be okay ~ no matter what. Like the phoenix rising up from the ashes http://aflourishinglife.com/2011/01/coping-with-challenging-life-circumstances/ ~

I will prevail and in doing so, so will my children.

Surreal Present Moment...

As I was driving to spend a fun day with friends that I love very much, two deers walked out in front of my car. It was like this surreal present moment. No one was behind me and no cars were coming from the other direction, and I just stopped... It felt like the world just paused and what looked like a mother and child just walked across the street off into the woods, then traffic was everywhere, and I was left in awe. I believe animals have meaning and this is what I found when I looked it up:

"Deer's enter your life to help you walk the path of love with full consciousness and awareness, to know that love sometimes requires caring and protection, not only in how we love others, but also in how we love ourselves.

When deer's enter your life, a new innocence and freshness in about to be awakened. New adventures are just around the corner and there will be opportunity to express the gentle love that will open new doors for you."

Perfect...

"Nothing is perfect if judgement is present. Everything is perfect when you let go. This is how you see with the eyes of love."

Jackson Kiddard

Today I will let go and look through the eyes of love, and then I will"know" that everything is as it should be ~ perfect without judgement, because...

All is well...

Grieving...

"Grief Attacks"

When grieving we can be going along and everything seems to be okay. then out of nowhere grief hits full force. These are not set backs, they are a part of the grieving experience.

Grief... an old friend returns. I'd been wondering what was going on with me the last few weeks. I'd be okay one moment and then feeling sad and crying the next.  It's a process of letting go, of leaving behind, of complete unknown. I've know "grief" before and it has come back to visit once again. Now that I know, I can continue to be kinder to myself, to help my children walk through this seemingly dark and scary time with grace and peace. Welcome old friend... we shall walk this path together until we no longer need each other.

One Step...

When I was hanging out with my wonderful group of friends yesterday, one of the topics we talked about was the transition going on in my life. But one friend keep saying  "one step at a time" and there was something about the tone in her voice, that brought me peace in that present moment. So all day today I keep hearing her voice chanting in my head...

"One step at a time Nancy, one step at a time" 

Vulnerable...

"What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful"

Brene Brown

Go be BEAUTIFUL today...

New LIfe...

My life is changing "for the better" and as I woke up this morning to see the Jeep that was gifted to me from a dear dear friend in my driveway, (that will replace a car that I'd been driving that will no longer be mine) ~ it felt like a "bud" of a new life. A new beginning that is both scary and exhilarating at the same time. I will continue to nurture this new start with small steps in each present moment. And when I'm in that scary place, I will be kind to myself, allow it to pass through and keep going. 

Magic Wand...

As I've gotten older, my mother often says to me..."I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better." And as much as a part of me wished that were true, the other part of me knows that I will be okay and have been. But having said that, as my children are growing up, my heart hurts because "I" don't have that magic wand that would make their life right now just like they would like it. But my wisdom knows that there is a better place for us and it's hard for them to see it when you've not had the years of wisdom to "just know" that.

Resist...

I'm trying to quiet my mind today because it feels like it's going in a thousand different directions. I have so many things I'm trying to keep track of, big decisions to make, and "to do's" to accomplish. All I really want to do today is forget them all and just go away where there is no pressure other people to consider and just relax. But since that is not possible at this present moment, I will go with the flow and not resist... because what I resist ~ persists!

What's Right...

"Through you can see when you're wrong, you know you can't always see when you're right."

Billy Joel

It's so easy for me to see what I feel is wrong with myself, but what if I could see only what's right and beautiful about me? It's all what I focus on... So today in this present moment, is going to be all about,"what's RIGHT about me."

Drummer...

"Maybe you’ve felt like you’re not cut from the same cloth. You’re probably right. You’re not ‘normal.’ You’re not ordinary. I’d say you’re extraordinary. You’re a voice. You’re a presence. And you are here to bring something different to the conversation. Let your difference make a difference."

Tama J. Kieves

My mother had given me a little plaque to put in my room when I was young that read:

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears however measured or far away." 

I always felt growing up that my difference to the others in the family was a defect, something to feel bad about because I couldn't see life the way they saw it. But now a little older and wiser, I'm realizing I can bring something different to the conversation... AND that I CAN make a difference in the world!

Season...

I love this picture and didn't really have anything to go with it other then "noting" the JOY it brings me. Since fall in my favorite season, there are never enough picture, painting, real life memories that I grow tired of seeing,when they pertain to fall. Hope it brings a smile to your heart and lightens you day as it has mine.

Change...

"Don't be afraid to change. You may lose something good, but you may gain something better."

It's easy to stay comfortable. I have a friend who says her daughter sees life as " all change is bad" and sometimes for me it feels that way. It's a risk that if I allow myself to be bigger and different then I've ever know I may just surprise myself. 

Shine...

"Don't shine so others can see you. Shine so that, through you, others can see."

C.S. Lewis

My hope is that my life in each present moment will have shined enough light, so others can see and be in awe of their own present moments.

Trust...

"A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not in the branch but on it's own wings. 

Always believe in yourself."

 A life long challenge...~

With each new experience I believe a little more, and after awhile, all the little experiences that offer an opportunity to "believe" add up, and I can believe more and more in myself! I can fear a little less that the branch may break from under me because...

I trust in my own wings~