Free...

 http://www.lisasonora.com/30-day-journal-project/

Keeping a journal has always been a big part of my life, it gave me a voice when I felt I had none. I've kept a journal since I was a teen and over the years it has taken different forms. My most recent is my art journal that I've posted about before. I've enjoyed seeing textures, color and whatever my little heart feels like creating. I consider it a journal even though I don't always write in it but my thoughts are the same just expressed in a different way.
Posted above is a 30 day journal project for FREE if  you want to give it a try... Hope you enjoy the process as much as I have. Try doing it with a friend... it's a whole lot of fun!!!

Alive...

 

 " Always find time for the things that make you feel happy to be alive."

I would like to say "in the new year-I will..." but my thought is when your ready to do something why wait. My intention for the last week has been to allow myself to find time to do the things that make me feel happy and alive, no matter how small that is. I've spent a lifetime "wanting" to do so many creative projects but not allowing myself until all the "have to... should do" gets done. There is a saying that defines insanity as, "doing the same thing over and and expecting different results." And my mind wants to say "not so kind" things about myself, like how I got to be this age and haven't really done this, or don't even bother because you know things will happen and you won't keep doing it, and on and on my negative self talk goes. But from what I wrote in my last post I am trying to refrain from listening to that and just be kinder.

Fast...

 

I came across this in a book and thought it would be good practice to do for one day. I find I can be very critical of myself, so going on a "criticism fast" would help bring awareness and help remind me to be kinder to myself when I am imperfect and human. Self - Forgiveness is something I work on daily and I have to choose situation by situation just as I hope to continue to work on the harsh judgement I place upon myself.

The Criticism Fast

For one day resolve, "I will criticize nothing that occurs today. I will imagine everything that happens is for my good and the good of others. I will release myself from the judgements I have laid upon myself. I will see myself, my motivations and my actions as pure. I will not agree with the critical or judgmental words or attitudes of others. I will not deny the good within and around me. I give this entire day to the celebration of good."

Oh Deer...

Earlier this year I wrote a post about an experience I had with a family of deer and today, I again had an experience with a family of deer. This morning I went to someones house to walk their dog and when I pulled up to the top of the driveway there to my right was a family of deer. A mother, father and three children. One of the baby deer had a hurt leg. But none of them ran and I continued down the driveway really slow then got out of the car and just quietly talked with them. It seemed like forever but I'm sure it was only a few minutes, then they all just wandered off, but the mother deer keep watch and I felt we connected mother to mother as I wished her healing for her child who was hurt. I know this may sound crazy but I'm always looking up the meaning of animals that find there way into my life. This past year I had a family of tree frogs living outside of my house. In the twenty two years I've been here, I've never had tree frogs visit, much less stay. Just yesterday I was taking a moment to read a book I'm trying to finish and a squirrel  jumped on the table outside my window and just hung out for awhile to chat.

Here is some of what I found when I looked up the meaning of seeing deer...

By observing the ways in which deer behave, it is possible to see what amazing qualities - or powers - they possess. From the deer we can learn that the gift of gentleness and caring can help us overcome and put aside many testing situations. Only love, both for ourselves and for others, helps us understand the true meaning of wholeness.

If a deer crosses your path, this may show you that you are a very compassionate, gentle and loving person. If you don't have these qualities, then consider if you have a problem that needs addressing. Are you facing a challenge in your life, whether with a fellow human being or a delicate situation? If you are feeling negative emotions such as anger, try letting go. Think about whether a gentler and more loving approach can sort the issue out. It may be necessary to speak the truth, this is best done with kindness and from the heart, this will generally give a better result.

Deer teaches us how powerful it is to be of gentle demeanor, to exert keen observation and sensitivity. Deer's are in tune with nature and all it comprises. They are sacred carriers of peace and show those with this power animal how to open their hearts and love unconditionally. 

Deer has entered your life to help you walk the path of love with full consciousness and awareness, to know that love sometimes requires caring and protection, not only in how we love others, but also in how we love ourselves. 

Deer teaches us to be gentle, to touch the hearts and minds of wounded beings who are in our lives. Don't push people to change, rather gently nudge them in right direction, with the love that comes from deer. Love and accept people as they are. The balance of true power lays in love and compassion. 
 

Late...

 

When I wait to write my blog until it late ( 9 o'clock pm) I sit looking at the screen trying to remember what it was earlier in the day that I was going to write about. I forget to write my ideas down ( still thinking I'm going to remember later - not!!!) and then I have nothing. Being a morning person when the day turns into night my brain shuts down. So I'm hoping tomorrow I will get my blogging done earlier and be inspired!

Learning...

This is the beginning of the cooperative art journal I mentioned in an earlier post this month and I'm learning through my art that it is a lot about the unknown. The cover of the journal is not at all as I had invisioned when I had the idea of what I wanted the cover to be. But much like life, there is no "do over" and I can only make beautiful from what I already have. I don't know what the end result will be for my journal anymore then I know the end results for my life. But I can learn to trust the process and "know" no matter what it will be just what it is suppose to be. And yes... it may not be perfect but neither am I, but it is a special process because it is shared with a good friend and what couldn't be beautiful about that.

Sustains...

It is the twentieth day of December and there hasn't been one day yet, with a day off. It has been busy busy busy and I'm feeling the need to connect with nature and hug a tree! And if it wasn't so cold outside, I'd plant my feet in the grass and feel grounded. I haven't even been out in my backyard to check on my garlic that's growing. But things will slow down soon and I will reconnect once again to what sustains me ~ Mother Nature!

Peace...

Feeling overwhelmed tonight... this picture brings me peace.

Tree...

Another tree, another Christmas! Each year we gather around the living room sharing stories and memories about each ornament that is placed on the tree. Some were from my childhood, some are from family and friends, and some where made when the kids were young. I could sit for hours with all the room lights off and just watch the twinkling lights on the tree making the decorations sparkle. It's a happy time, a happy place...

Men...

Growing up there weren't a lot of positive men in my life and then when I married my former husband he introduced me to one awesome man, his name was Father Eugene McCreesh. He was a Jesuit priest and just a very compassionate man. He uses to go to the beach with us every year and came up to the house on every occasion. My middle son was named after him. I was missing him a lot today, missing his quiet words, his big bear hugs, and his loving presence. But I am forever grateful that I have such kind and wonderful memories to remember!

Car...

 I seem to do a lot of driving even though it happens to be my least favorite activity. Most of my friends live far away, my family live a good distance and I'm now helping a friend that lives on the other side of town from me. So I try to use the time in the car as a "car meditation." I quiet my mind as much as possible while still driving and just try to keep all the ideas, lists and thoughts that come flooding in when I'm still. I've heard of walking meditation, why not car meditation?!

Amazed...

http://www.groveparkinn.com/gingerbread

Years ago I use to bake gingerbread and in all the years I baked, I never got up to the Grove Park Inn to see the Gingerbread competition. But I have since gone with a group of friends and it's a little different each year. And one thing that doesn't change, is the creativity that people of all ages use to decorate the gingerbread creations. It never fails to amaze me, the ideas that people come up with and I just love watching creative flourish and thrive year after year.

Blank...

 

Living far away from those you enjoy spending time with can sometimes be a challenge to stay connected. One of my dear friends is always coming up with really neat ideas to continue to reconnect with each other. The last thing we did since we both are bloggers, is to participate in a cooperative blog. We each came up with a set of topics, then we decided how often we wanted to blog together, then she put it on the calendar as reminders. That was fun because it gave me things to think about that I might other wise not. And I enjoyed sharing her perspective on the subjects too. Now her newest idea is to do a cooperative art journal ( we have done our own as well and she even hand made this one for me) and exchange them periodically either in person if we are so lucky to get together or by mail.Then we would add something to the others journal and exchange again until it is full. But I found myself, as it always has been, intimidated by the blank page and the ideas of what I want to do with it. But with this awareness I am trying to let that go and just "flow" with the process. So I find myself a tiny bit excited to watch it all unfold.

Discount...

When I stopped at the grocery store the other day and looked at my receipt, low and behold I got a discount for my wisdom. Who knew!!! I think it was the stores way of saying, " senior citizen" discount, only in a more creative way. Often I am not even asked because of my gray hair, just assumed, as I was this day. So I will take my 3.11 discount for all my years of gathered wisdom and say ~ thank you!

Cute...

Just a few cute things to make me smile...

"Stressed spelled backwards is desserts. Coincidence? I think not!"

My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.

My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?

I'm more confused than a chameleon in a bag of skittles.

Exercising would be so much more rewarding if calories screamed while you burned them.

Me? Crazy? I should get down off this unicorn and slap you.

Shelter...

"Come in," she said. "I'll give you shelter from the storm."

Some-days this would be so nice to hear. I guess that's why I like my home so much. It is my shelter from the storm. A place I can find refuge and comfort even if I don't have that "someone" to offer that to me. It gets hard at times being everything for everyone, including myself. I just want to be able to rest and rely on another for awhile. Oh that sounds so nice... maybe someday!

Do you Use...

 Do you use your college degree now; if you could do it over again would you attend college?

I can only answer this with the wisdom of hind site except the part of "do I use my college degree," and that answer would be no. If I know what I know now I would not attend college and I would set my creative spirit free, the one that I let myself and others keep locked up, imprisoned with all the rules, advise and pursuit of perfection. Going to college did one thing, it gave me the confidence that I did have the ability to learn ~ a feeling I lacked in grade school when I was told that I had a learning problem and was put in the "special class" with only a handful of other students. Everyone that walked by the room knew who was in there! And my mother never missed a chance to share this information. I do believe college is suited for some and some people it is not. I don't regret it, because like all past decisions, you can't change them, so I took what I liked from the experience and left the rest.

This is a cooperative blog that a friend and I are participating in together, so check out what she has to say about this question from her perspective http://gentlegull.blogspot.com/

December...

 "We are all doing the very best we can, but doing isn't really what matters. It's the allowing of each day to move through us without getting caught up in the struggle."

As each day in December passes I find myself thinking about the new year and the intentions I hold to make each present moment a more conscious one, "When you are open to life, you create an energy force that says YES." I want to allow more and try to not get caught up in the struggle as much. I want to create more, and enjoy the process. I want to love and listen deeper to myself and all those in my life. I want to allow more energy to flow freely and hear the word " Yes" more often in my soul.

.

Look...

 "When it rains look for rainbows, when it's dark look for stars."

There is something about seeing a rainbow or gazing up at the stars that offers hope or just a reason to smile. Maybe because they seem magical, out there in the big world. Whatever the reason I am always looking for the rainbow when I see the rain and the sun peeking out, and it's hard not to lift your eyes up to the sky just to look in the darkness.

Sounded...

 

 "She smelled of Sun and Daisies with a hint of River Water."

Katie Daisy

I wasn't sure what to write with this quote, I just liked the way it sounded. Sometimes that is good enough!

Years...

"There are years that ask questions and years that answer."

Zora Neale Hurston

I feel like for most of my life have been about the question, and have I been listening? I've always been in a hurry to find out the answer and that not listening close enough, has lead to choices that didn't feed my soul. My intention as the New Year approaches is to listen deeper and follow the answers that leave me feeling full.

Naked...

 

 I've been observing winters naked trees and thinking about how they resemble being vulnerable. You can see clearly all that's inside. All the things that have been broken and all the things that hold your strength. There is no where to hide, your leaves have fallen off and your exposed. I want to find that comfortable, safe place within, to allow myself to be that vulnerable. To expose myself to the world by just being me. To know that is enough and when the spring arrives, I will sprout new growth

Quiet Time....

 

 I'm back from spending time with family and when I'm there it's always a house full. Lot's of cooking, laughing and hanging out together, but when I come home I find my quiet time. I need quiet to recharge my soul and build up my energy for going out into the world again. But being with people you love gives you a bust that you can't get from being alone. Both are necessary...

Sister Love...

 My sister and I chatted today and our stories are different but our hearts are the same. We each want self-love, self-acceptance and a need to feel validated, supported and loved by someone. I think that is what we are are looking for and we each must find our path that speaks to our soul. So as my sister and I journey together may we remember to continue to hold our hearts in the present moment and offer the love that only a sister can offer to the other.

Enough...

 

 "When someone is going through a storm, your silent presence is more powerful than a million empty words."

This is so true... There have been times in my life I felt so much from someone's presence. For that person to be there and not have the right words or activity to make it all better. And there have been times in my life that I have done the same for another. It is a reminder that " we are enough."

Chopping, Mixing, and Baking...

It is the day before Thanksgiving and I've been in the kitchen with all but two of my nieces and nephews. We are all talking, laughing, chopping, mixing and baking and I couldn't think of a better way to spend a day full of gratitude! Looking forward to the end of the day when all the family will be together, a roaring fire will be made and the love will flow all around.

Cultivate trust...

 The root that I most need to cultivate within myself now is...TRUST.

Walking each day with " the unknown" and wanting to do that in a more graceful and loving way, I have to trust that all will be well. With each passing present moment I have to believe I am being lead to a place more beautiful and amazing then I could ever dream for myself. And only with trust can I surrender and embrace all that is to be and allow it to flow swiftly into my life. When I can fully trust, I can be free to try new things and know no matter what the outcome I will be okay. With trust, there is security and comfort to move around in life, lighter and with excitement... like a surprise around every corner. All I have to do is put on foot in front of the other and know... " all is well"

Proud...

 The other day I attempted to can some broth I made to give as a gift to my sister. I had never canned before and I just did a lot of google searches and watching YouTube videos to try and piece enough information together to attempt it. I was a little hesitant, thinking I might blow up my kitchen but I learned it does have a escape valve on the top to keep that from happening... Whew! But I was so proud of myself because I have a really really hard time starting things, especially things like that I have never done before. And I don't usually even try things because I'm to scared of the process. It was a small victory in my personal growth to keep trying!!!!

Okay...

"Be okay with not knowing for sure what might come next but know that whatever it is... YOU will be OK."

This is my mantra everyday. I try in each present moment to be okay with not knowing and then knowing I will be okay. It's a skill I continue to practice and find I am making progress. So I will offer myself  "love" and continue on.



Goals...

All of my children are older ( youngest being 19 1/2) and for the last month or so the two that still live with me have been talking about short and long range goals of moving on their own. It's a natural pregression of life but it feels weird and awesome at the same time. I'm so happy that they feel that their life is ready for that step in the future. Right now it's only in the planning and thinking stage but it's there and my mind has to wrap around the thought that it will all be different one day. Life moves on...

Breath...

" In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away."

A reminder today that what len I look through my life with - defines it. When I look through the album of my life and see all the present moments that took my breath away I can't help but be in awe. Let my focus be present, so as not to miss any of those moments in my "NOW" that might take my breath away.

I Like...

My daughter posted this for me to see... and I loved it as she knew I would. I hope you enjoy and see how you can deliver the punch line in someone else's life.

 

I Like Laughter.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwrZfNpRjMA

Missing...

I miss my blog writing. It's become my place to show up for myself and without my computer, the simplicity of my musing has become a challenge... but not impossible to get done! Hope to get back on track soon.

In Awe...

When the fall season comes, I am always full of anticipation for this beautiful specimen of a tree right outside my back door. I'm sure I posted about it last year and maybe even the year before. I never get tired of seeing the spectacular color that is so close I can touch it. There are days I just stand outside or look outside my patio window "in awe" of its presents. It really isn't any different then any other tree that has turned yellow in the fall but I think because it is so up close and personal that I find amazing. I am just glad it chose me to hang out with!

Scarves...

Winter is upon us and with short hair I find myself appreciating the many scarves my friends have hand crafted for me over the years. I pulled them out of my closet the other day and hung them by the door. There is nothing worse then leaving for the day and realizing you forgot your scarf!! You don't notice what a difference it makes in your warmth, then when you don't have one wrapped around your neck. I've even worn them around my house. And each and everyone makes me smile when I think about the care and love that was put into making them. 

Being Rooted...

Being rooted means to me...  it's the place I'm connected to life.  All the things that make up "me." My thoughts, my feelings, my mistakes, my triumphs, my experiences are my roots from which I have grown. The beliefs I hold for my life and the choices I make and what I hold and value are part of my being rooted.  When a storm comes through in my life, I hold strong to these roots and it keeps me steady even if everything on the outside looks like it's falling apart. There are times in my life these roots have been brought to the surface thirsty for the water that feeds them, hungry for the security of the earth, once again. I find quiet and reach deep to give my roots what they long for.

This is a cooperative blog a friend and I are participating in to help us dig deeper... here is the link to read her blog post  http://gentlegull.blogspot.com/2014/11/being-rooted-means-to-me.html

PJ's...

Today was a rare day of no where to go, so I just stayed in my pajamas and enjoyed the day. I played, cleaned, slept and cooked! So nice to call a day my own. Part of me wanted to just do a whole lot of nothing and if I'd had another day on which to play I might have but I tried to do a little of all I wanted to get done. I enjoyed "my" day!

Balance...

This week was busy and lots of "things" around the house got left until there is time to get them done. Well today had space in it and as time went on I found myself overwhelmed with so much rushing. I know I can't get it all accomplished today and I will have some time tomorrow but I decided to stop doing the " to do" list and find something I enjoy - and DO IT! I'm feeling better and now have a better attitude to get back to my list. I have always struggled with this balance of work and pleasure. Always waiting to do the thing that gives me pleasure till after I'm done with the work. And that never happens because the work is never done and then I'm going to bed unhappy knowing I just did the same thing I've always done. So I caught the feeling today and decided to do something different. 

Dark...

It's that time of year again... when darkness arrives sooner then I had hoped. With each passing year I've come to embrace all the seasons. They each have there own uniqueness to appreciate, but it takes me longer in the winter to adjust to the early, dark evening sky. My body just wants to stop all activities and snuggle up somewhere comfy. I am still learning from the absence of light when winter introduces herself once again. 

Need...

I was in need of some nice words today... and for me there is nothing better then a quote...or two!

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it."

"She took the leap and built her wings on the way down."

" Be kind to everything that lives."

" If you're making mistakes, it means you're out there doing something."

" Just because something ends doesn't mean it never should've been. Remember, you lived, you learned, you grew and you moved on."

" You can never make to much Happy."

" When you stop believing in Santa... you get underwear."

" Your cells contain the universe."

" The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind."

" Don't shine so others can see you. Shine so that, through you, others can see."

" Broken crayons still color."

" We met for a reason, either you're a blessing or a lesson."

" It you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place."

Listen...

As I was watching Super Soul Sunday today and with all the beautiful and thought provoking things Marianne Williamson said, the one that stuck me was when asked "what she would have done differently in her campaign when running for governor." Her response was, " something she already knew, which was to just listen to what she knew inside." But because she asked other people what she should do as a person running for political office, she did things not knowing she could choose not to do them and follow what felt right for her. I found this a good reminder for myself, when asking others advice on subjects I'm not sure or when struggling with what to do, to still listen to my own "knowing" and decide if what is being said resonates for me or if what I'm feeling fits comfortable. It's a habit that I have to continually pick up and be aware of, and even with many years gone around this earth, I am forever learning and remembering to listen.

An Afternoon at the park... in pictures

Emerge...

The other day I was comparing myself to all people who knew what they wanted from when they were young. All their creative ideas had been nurtured and tended to for so long, and I found myself asking why - why couldn't I have known and flourished when I was in my youth. But then it came to me later that day... I did what my heart wanted when I was young - and that was to be a mother. That was my creative path. Was it done perfectly or did it turn out as I had hoped - NO. But no dreams are obtained without some failure and trial and error. There are creative ideas that started out one way and completely ended up nothing like you thought it would be. I am now in a new place where my mothering is not in the for front of my life and new creative energy is trying to emerge.

My Soul Craves...

http://www.oprah.com/own-super-soul-sunday/Full-Episode-Madonna-Badger-Video

I hadn't watched Oprah's Super Soul Sunday in a long time. The channel had been taking off my cable choices but yesterday I decided to sit down and try to watch it on my phone. It was a heavy subject for me having experienced so many deaths in my former families lives, but I got a message that I was suppose to hear...

"Let somebody love you"

I realized after hearing that, how much I don't allow that to happen, and instead, offer in return, a resistance to its existence. THIS is what "my soul craves." Madonna Badger said in this episode of Super Soul Sunday that when she called someone up to share her grief one day, the other person on the phone told her to, "find someone to love you" and by "letting someone love you" she found healing.

I want to let this sink deeply within my soul and give it room to grow. And the next time someone offers kind words, gives me a gift, or when I reach out to share my grief, I will try to remember to feed my soul what it craves, by...

"Letting somebody love me!"


This is a cooperative blog a friend and I are writing, exploring different topics. This is her blog..
http://gentlegull.blogspot.com/2014/10/my-soul-craves.html

Alone...

Somedays, some weeks I just wish I had my "mommy" or " daddy" - that soft, safe place to fall when life has chewed you up and spite you out.  I have never had that and as much as I take care of myself and "be kind" it doesn't replace what the heart ache for - what every child should have available. I know I'm not alone in that feeling and it's not a unique feeling, but right at this present moment it feels like I am ALONE.