Haiku

sunshine and cold air

bare trees, solid ground, plants wait

as nature hibernates

Giving and Receiving

I have never been a very good receiver of gifts, compliments or offers. I have always been the one in my life who does the offering, the gift giving and the spreading of glad tidings so I think it has become a habit and habits can be unlearned. When I give, I give with much joy and love with no thoughts of obligation or feed back. I LOVE to give to others just because. It brings me such a "high"I wish that were my job in life. I am working on trying to accept what is given and offered in whatever form it comes in. With this Christmas season comes opportunities to practice allowing good tiding to flow and to just say "Thank You", which is enough.

You don't need a reason to be happy.......

The picture is a license plate I had on my car back in the 80's. I still have it on my bookshelf to remind me "to be happy". Happiness is a state of mind, a chose to choose inspite of what you see in front of you. An opportunity to see the cup half full or half empty. It still is the same, either way, it's all how you look at it.

Lets all sing together....

Don't Worry — Be Happy

Don't Worry — Be Happy

In every life we have some trouble

But when you worry you make it Double

Don't Worry — Be Happy

Ain't got no place to lay your head,

somebody came and took your bed

Don't Worry, Be Happy

The landlord say your rent is late,

he may have to litigate

Don't Worry — Be Happy

Ain't got not cash, ain't got no style,

ain't got no gal to make you smile

Don't Worry — Be Happy

Cause when you worry your face will frown

and that will bring everybody down

Don't Worry — Be Happy

song by: Bobby McFerrin

Loved!?

When Princess Diana died "they" said she never realized the magnitude of how much she was admired and loved.

In this present moment, I can see and feel the embodiment of love for myself and my children. I need to take a step back and allow it to flow, to bow in humble apprecitation and stand in "awe" of its presents. It is all around me, in each moment of my day. Gratitude over flows. My hope is that others can feel the vibration of MY love.

Words........

When words ~ keep you from feeling good ~ use them as firewood

(Train - Save Me, San Francisco)

Words are powerful. They are letters strung together with the ability to enlighten or be harmful. I have allowed words to drop out of my mouth with no thought of how they would affect another. Or times I have been aware and chose to say them anyway. Sometimes no words can be even more harmful. You have nothing to filter but your own thoughts, nothing to work out. There are times it is good to let the words flow. To see what it is I'm feeling. I have surprised myself before with random words that I have said. I didn't realize I felt a certain way until I heard the words said out loud. Maybe that is why releasing my writing out into the world is hard. It is revealing, intimate and about me. Even fiction are words of my choosing and when you send them out into the world you are letting go. This blog is a small attempt to let my words float freely with no judgement and no guarentees. And when I keep my words in the present moment they are lighter, more loving, and free.

A moment to PAUSE

STOP - I close my eyes, breath deeply and PAUSE........

My mind can spin with "to do's", "shoulds" (they say don't should all over yourself), and "have tos", which can sometimes cloud my view of all that is good and right in my world. When I pause and look around I see the love and joy life has to offer me. I don't have to reach far, travel great distances or make something up. I just pause and it's all there - always was! It was only my interpretation that had changed. I am grateful for the present moment that allows me another chance to see clearly all that surrounds me. To embrace it, and breath.

An Attitude of Gratitude

"They" say.... A miracle is only a shift in perspective. Today I am choosing to shift my thoughts to gratitude.

I am grateful for:

Myself- learning to love myself and celebrating being me

My children- may their gifts add light and love to the world

My home- a safe and loving place to be

My friends and family- their acceptance and joy is the food that sustains me

Our cats- it's a love that keeps on giving

Sunshine, good food, a car, random kindness, peace, a good nights sleep, and HOPE!

EXPECTING MIRACLES.........

Simple?!

"I think, therefore I am."

It sounds so simple......... Maybe it is!

I sometimes make things harder then they have to be. Just maybe -if I view myself as a creative being, visualize the process, it will be. The voices tell me I'm to old, it's to last, you have too much to do, you will never make a living doing THAT (whatever "that" is). But then there is the saying, "JUST DO IT". It can be that simple, if I let it. It takes commitment to myself. I'm not sure why it seems harder to give "TIME" to myself. To allow the light to shine on me. Habit of a lifetime of doing for others and allowing that to be my excuse to lose sight of ME. The present moment gives me a new opportunity to start again. I will sit in this moment and let the light shine on me.........

A single moment

There is only a single moment in which we can truly be alive, and that is in the present moment!

(from :Thich Nhat Hanh Book: You Are Here)

The challenge is being alive in this moment. My mind worries, wanders, and waits. All taking me away from this very moment I am in. But the good side of that is I can start over anytime because I get a new moment to try and be present. It frees me. I feel light inside when I surrender to the here and now. I let go of my worries and enjoy............

Humming

One day you'll wake up and find that your life does not have structure anymore. It has rhythm. Just hum along. (borrowed words)

My life is taking on more and more rhythm with each present moment. As I allow the structure to fall away I can feel the rhythm taking over. It puts a smile on my face, a swing in my step and brings clarity that all is well. I am surrounded by friends who have their own rhythm but we sway to a similar beat. It feels so GOOD! My children teach me everyday how easy it can be to hum along, to relax and enjoy.

Lets all hum to our OWN rhythm today..........

Nothing to fear but fear itself

I FORGET -

I am not on this journey alone. There are others to help and encourage. My shoulders get heavy when I put more on them then I need too. I am only one person and I can't do everything. My "to do" list seems to be getting longer and longer. So for today I will choose not to look at it and choose to know ALL IS WELL. I don't want my present moments to be filled with FEAR, for there IS nothing to fear but fear itself. Thank you to all who walk along beside me because sometimes I - FORGET.

the eagle flies high

feeling free in his present moment

let my spirt follow

A Quote

"Deep roots are not reached by the frost."

I love quotes. They are similar to Haiku, short and sweet. Quotes give me food for thought without all the fillers, and can be interpreted in many ways. At different times in my life a quote can take on an entirely new meaning.

Enjoy the food.........(for thought)

Resistance and flow

 I find myself resisting the present moments in my day. I want them to be something there not. I want them to be what I THINK they should be.

 Today is to remember life doesn't have to be a struggle if you just let it flow.  

TRUST

SURRENDER

ALLOW

A thought..........

Our experiences are our lessons.
They are to be noticed, accepted and forgiven if hurtful.
NOT JUDGED

(borrowed words to live by)

The Truth - will set you free

Each moment is an invitation to begin again and to remember the truth of who you really are.

Today I am:

 patient

beautiful

funny

quiet

compassionate

loving

ALIVE.......

! Fourth of July !

anticipation

full moon hangs high in the sky

time for - fireworks !

A night full of beautiful present moments, shared with loving family (far and near).

Giving up struggle-letting go

To receive is to be willing to give up all unnecessary struggle and lack.

(borrowed words from the book: be happy  by: Robert Holden)

The present moment is fleeting. I'm here, in the moment, and then my mind is off to, what about this, what about that, which sets off my panic button. The panic that feels I am the one that has to figure it out. I forget to relax and I think I must do-do something to fix it, find it, change it. The moments are lost. Being present is simple. I forget to stop struggling and enjoy.

Shift happens when you let go!

(borrowed words from the book: be happy  by: Robert Holden)

The present moment is now -where are you?

I am -

Lost in - "what if", "If only", "Why can't they be what I need"

Why, why, why.................

But I'm back.

Back enjoying the moment that I'm in. Grateful for what's right in front of me. Doing something about what I can do something about, I'm loving myself, my children, family and friends. Today is what I make it. The "what if and if only" didn't go away but I chose to come back to the present moment and all is well......... LIFE IS GOOD!!!!

(thanks for sharing this moment with me)

May she rest in peace

a kitten is born
becomes a mother and friend
we will miss you - LOTS

FRESH=YUM......

 green beans...........

It's a small amount, but the bounty of joy is BIG. My plans for a large garden got lost this year, but I managed to plant a couple of things, some green bean, peas and tomatoes. 

And what to my wondering eyes should appear but a handful of beans hanging so dear.

 I can't wait to eat them...... OH that's right, I already did!!! 

You live your life, every single bit of it,

 in the present moment and only in the present moment.

ALL YOU EVER GET IS NOW!

(borrowed words)

Someone asked me once how I was and I said something about another yucky rainy day and their response was, "it was just another wet day". So now I try to view my rainy days as "just another wet day" and just another moment to appreciate without judgement.

Haiku

a cool breeze hovers

over children in their sleep

raindrops gently fall

winters chill gives way

to springs new day and summers

heat,  leads us to fall

Present moments like the seasons wait for no one. 

As you can see by my last post it has been awhile since I have shown up for myself. I have allowed the moments to fade away, forgetting to enjoy them, letting life devour me! 

Today is mothers day and the world has given me permission to slow down. I can see the missed joy and the time I took away from myself. But I don't want to take my present moment and fill it with regret. So I will choose to start for where I am in this moment, and ENJOY!

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY -to all

quiet slow morning

kids sleeping, cats wondering

enjoying the time

Color

      Many people have mentioned to me over the years that I see my world in black and white. No room for gray areas, no space for give and take and certainly no allowance for color. This leaves me to ponder where the color is in my life, the various degrees of gray. And if I were a color what would it be.

      I started going around the color wheel. It seemed like the logical choice. It gave me the usual, the predicted combinations. I thought about each one. What a certain color represented or if the name of the color was said out loud would it invoke something in me. As I wondered, my mind drifted to being a child. When trees were supposed to be green and brown, the sky blue and the flowers below pink and red, yellow and orange. No questioned were asked. The adult said it was so, and so it was.

      Scouting around, I gathered  a handful of long forgotten Crayola crayons. Placed a blank sheet of paper in front of me and decided to draw without reservation. To find a time when blank and empty weren't intimidating. When color beckoned  and my creativity not held captive by invisible guidelines and unexplainable rules. I drew wildly with colors like unmellow yellow, orchid with twinkling turquoise glitter, cadet blue, wisteria, thistle, vivid tangerine and razzmatazz. WOW!

       It was fun, silly and freeing. I said the names of each one as I drew. My mind danced wildly, color flying around the page, a sence of freedom unwilling to be contained. I watched as my fingers fluttered about, filled with delight.

       Now with a colorful, playful experience behind me, I went back to my question, If I were a color what would I be? How do I choose? What do I choose? I pick..... Blue. It's simple; it's the sky, the ocean, denim jeans. But then there's green with its dew drop grass, spring's new leaves and the mold grown on neglected cheese. Or pink, all girly and cute, the easter dress, the newly sprouted tulip. There's brown and red, yellow and purple. With much deliberation I have decided to pick WHITE. For it is the essence of all. So with that decision made, pardon me as I go color my world.

     

borrowed WORDS

 about the present moment.......

*It is never to late to really be here.

It  is never to late to enjoy the moment.

It is never to last to love and be loved.

It is never to late to know the truth.

*Every moment your not present is a moment you don't get back.

picture perfect day

The letter "A"

"A" for excellence

 springtime, rain tossed together

a perfect letter

Haiku

the rain cascades down

as the roots drink from the bounty

refreshed and renewed

Random Thought

Ever Wonder..............

          just wondering!

Celebrate being me....

Happy Birthday!

    I have never announced my birthday to the world before but today that is about to change. My blog is about showing up for myself so today I am here for me and it is a happy day.

    I was born forty nine years ago in Fort Bragg North Carolina. I already had a sister who was four days less then a year older waiting for me. My mother was a stay at home mom and my father was in the Military. I lived two years in Fort Bragg before moving to Cleveland Ohio where my mother was from. We stayed there while my father was in Vietnam and other areas. We lived there somewhere around seven to nine years (memory a little fuzzy) then moved to Germany for six months. (my sister had been born in Germany). It was six months because after arriving the Army realized my father was closer to retiring (he was ten years older then my mother)  so they sent us back to a military town called Fayetteville North Carolina. That is where I spent the remainder ( and where my mother and sister still live) of my years until I was twenty one, married and moved to Charlotte North Carolina. That marriage lasted about four years but we had a beautiful son who is about to turn twenty seven. I later married a man and have been married for nineteen years. We had two beautiful children as well. But that marriage is now dissolving. But I am happier then I have ever been. I have everything I could ever want (except the love of a good man).  My children are happy and healthy. I have been able to be with them in their daily lives,  homeschooling them and observing our everyday present moments together. I have family and friends who love and care about me. And I am finally showing up for myself. It feels good, Life is good..........

    So -  HAPPY BIRTHDAY to me!

Spring....... makes me smile

the push of solid ground
trees dangling with new life
spring pays us a visit

I found these flowers in my yard in need of rescue from the four inches of snow that lay on top. I cut them and put them in my bathroom, they make me smile every time I walk in. The pink color and subtle smell awaken my senses. I look forward to paying more attention to springs present moment

March 1 - Who Knew?!

snow lined tree branches

 snowmen, snowball, snowflakes fall

a snow angel made

     In North Carolina, who knew snow would come again, almost a month later from the last snowfall in February 2009, and a lot of it! Well a lot for around here (about 4-5 inches). It started about 7 pm and keep falling until late into the night. The kids love playing in the snow at night, it feels magical. I of course walked out for a few minutes just to experience the "present moment" but preferred to experience the rest from the warmth "on the inside" of my home. 

     Morning comes. The sun shines on a canvas of white. Snow begins to melt, puddles form, water drips, the air still chilly and cold. There are broken branches, fallen trees, and melting snowmen. All contained in a winters day.

Wecome ...

water droplets - drip

puddles, cloudy skies, bare trees

mother nature reigns down

I chose to write a Haiku for my first post because Haiku is about the present moment. This blog is my attempt to be more present in my own life. To show up for myself and celebrate being me. My hope is that others will join and find celebration in their "Present Moments", for this life is a journey with many travelers. Our paths cross, some stay and some go. But we are all only guaranteed the moment we are in. ENJOY!