Your Soul...

"Take time to do what makes your soul happy"

Happy...

Happy Thanksgiving to those I love!

Next Step...

"Things started to shift when I made the commitment to find direction in my moment-to-moment experience. the big picture was way too nebulous, but I realized that in each moment there was a kernel of truth, a clarity, a "yes" that showed me my next step."

When the big picture seems to overwhelming, I can scale it back and just look at what's in my present moment. Then comes small moments of clarity to show me my next step. It's still scary, but it's like  the time I was trying to cross a bridge that was ( what felt like to me) a little unstable and rickety, a friend walked behind me and encouraged me and was there for me to accomplish what felt like it was "un-doable." But taking one small step at a time, I crossed that bridge!

Candles...

I love candles! They provide such a safe and warm feeling in the evening when the sun has gone down and night arrives. I have a fireplace, but it uses regular logs and once they have burned down your left with the cold air coming in through the flue until it has cooled off enough to close it. So candles provides me that oh so nice "pretend" fire feeling. My oldest son laughs because I always ask for candles every year and he says I'm the only person he know that actually uses candles when there given.

All Mine...

Today is the first day in a very long time that I can say "it's all mine." I have nobody asking anything of me today and it feels good. I have many things on my to-do list but I don't have to fit them in-between something or get them done at a certain time. Nope... I can do whatever I want or don't want today. So I'm savoring this present moment and will look forward to more!

Connected...

"I am learning to trust the journey even when I do not understand it."

Mila Bron

With each present moment that passes, with each encouraging word and help from a friend, with each piece of the process that falls into place, helps me "trust" in this journey that I don't understand where it's headed. And I think for the first time in my life I finally "know" that I am not going through this alone. I feel surrounded in love and that alone helps me to trust. We are not meant to walk this life by ourselves ~ we are all connected to the journey...

 Thanks for walking beside me as I continue to trust!

Fall Haiku...

Fall leaves drip there color

 The Autumn sky drinks it in

Leaving memories

Strength...

"The task ahead of you is never greater than the strength within you."

... there is great strength within! I can do this ~ and the greatest part, is I don't have to do it alone!!!

Phoenix...

With wisdom comes "knowing." 

I always tell my kids when they seem astonished when I share something or know the probable out come of a situation, "that's why they call it wisdom." It's meant to be shared and passed down. It's a perk of growing older." But I can draw on it too. When my heart feels like it can't hurt anymore or any worse, I "KNOW" that there light at the end of the tunnel. That there is a rainbow behind the clouds and I will be okay ~ no matter what. Like the phoenix rising up from the ashes http://aflourishinglife.com/2011/01/coping-with-challenging-life-circumstances/ ~

I will prevail and in doing so, so will my children.

Surreal Present Moment...

As I was driving to spend a fun day with friends that I love very much, two deers walked out in front of my car. It was like this surreal present moment. No one was behind me and no cars were coming from the other direction, and I just stopped... It felt like the world just paused and what looked like a mother and child just walked across the street off into the woods, then traffic was everywhere, and I was left in awe. I believe animals have meaning and this is what I found when I looked it up:

"Deer's enter your life to help you walk the path of love with full consciousness and awareness, to know that love sometimes requires caring and protection, not only in how we love others, but also in how we love ourselves.

When deer's enter your life, a new innocence and freshness in about to be awakened. New adventures are just around the corner and there will be opportunity to express the gentle love that will open new doors for you."

Perfect...

"Nothing is perfect if judgement is present. Everything is perfect when you let go. This is how you see with the eyes of love."

Jackson Kiddard

Today I will let go and look through the eyes of love, and then I will"know" that everything is as it should be ~ perfect without judgement, because...

All is well...

Grieving...

"Grief Attacks"

When grieving we can be going along and everything seems to be okay. then out of nowhere grief hits full force. These are not set backs, they are a part of the grieving experience.

Grief... an old friend returns. I'd been wondering what was going on with me the last few weeks. I'd be okay one moment and then feeling sad and crying the next.  It's a process of letting go, of leaving behind, of complete unknown. I've know "grief" before and it has come back to visit once again. Now that I know, I can continue to be kinder to myself, to help my children walk through this seemingly dark and scary time with grace and peace. Welcome old friend... we shall walk this path together until we no longer need each other.

One Step...

When I was hanging out with my wonderful group of friends yesterday, one of the topics we talked about was the transition going on in my life. But one friend keep saying  "one step at a time" and there was something about the tone in her voice, that brought me peace in that present moment. So all day today I keep hearing her voice chanting in my head...

"One step at a time Nancy, one step at a time" 

Vulnerable...

"What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful"

Brene Brown

Go be BEAUTIFUL today...

New LIfe...

My life is changing "for the better" and as I woke up this morning to see the Jeep that was gifted to me from a dear dear friend in my driveway, (that will replace a car that I'd been driving that will no longer be mine) ~ it felt like a "bud" of a new life. A new beginning that is both scary and exhilarating at the same time. I will continue to nurture this new start with small steps in each present moment. And when I'm in that scary place, I will be kind to myself, allow it to pass through and keep going. 

Magic Wand...

As I've gotten older, my mother often says to me..."I wish I had a magic wand to make it all better." And as much as a part of me wished that were true, the other part of me knows that I will be okay and have been. But having said that, as my children are growing up, my heart hurts because "I" don't have that magic wand that would make their life right now just like they would like it. But my wisdom knows that there is a better place for us and it's hard for them to see it when you've not had the years of wisdom to "just know" that.

Resist...

I'm trying to quiet my mind today because it feels like it's going in a thousand different directions. I have so many things I'm trying to keep track of, big decisions to make, and "to do's" to accomplish. All I really want to do today is forget them all and just go away where there is no pressure other people to consider and just relax. But since that is not possible at this present moment, I will go with the flow and not resist... because what I resist ~ persists!

What's Right...

"Through you can see when you're wrong, you know you can't always see when you're right."

Billy Joel

It's so easy for me to see what I feel is wrong with myself, but what if I could see only what's right and beautiful about me? It's all what I focus on... So today in this present moment, is going to be all about,"what's RIGHT about me."

Drummer...

"Maybe you’ve felt like you’re not cut from the same cloth. You’re probably right. You’re not ‘normal.’ You’re not ordinary. I’d say you’re extraordinary. You’re a voice. You’re a presence. And you are here to bring something different to the conversation. Let your difference make a difference."

Tama J. Kieves

My mother had given me a little plaque to put in my room when I was young that read:

"If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears however measured or far away." 

I always felt growing up that my difference to the others in the family was a defect, something to feel bad about because I couldn't see life the way they saw it. But now a little older and wiser, I'm realizing I can bring something different to the conversation... AND that I CAN make a difference in the world!

Season...

I love this picture and didn't really have anything to go with it other then "noting" the JOY it brings me. Since fall in my favorite season, there are never enough picture, painting, real life memories that I grow tired of seeing,when they pertain to fall. Hope it brings a smile to your heart and lightens you day as it has mine.

Change...

"Don't be afraid to change. You may lose something good, but you may gain something better."

It's easy to stay comfortable. I have a friend who says her daughter sees life as " all change is bad" and sometimes for me it feels that way. It's a risk that if I allow myself to be bigger and different then I've ever know I may just surprise myself. 

Shine...

"Don't shine so others can see you. Shine so that, through you, others can see."

C.S. Lewis

My hope is that my life in each present moment will have shined enough light, so others can see and be in awe of their own present moments.

Trust...

"A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not in the branch but on it's own wings. 

Always believe in yourself."

 A life long challenge...~

With each new experience I believe a little more, and after awhile, all the little experiences that offer an opportunity to "believe" add up, and I can believe more and more in myself! I can fear a little less that the branch may break from under me because...

I trust in my own wings~ 

A Ring...

This ring was given to me by a dear friend over twenty five years ago. It use to be her ring and she offered it to me at a point of transition in my life - a new beginning. It holds great love and sentiment, so it is only appropriate that I pass it down to my daughter as she trail blazes her way to find the joy, adventures and new beginnings that are right for her life.

Unconditional...

It's nice to have animals around, they remind me to love unconditionally. They offer unconditional love when I forget and need it the most. Tonight I'm feeling a little blue, and my sweet cats don't care, they just love me any old way!

Questions...

"How big can you allow your life to be?"

"How big can you dream?"

These are the questions I need to wake up with each present moment. These are the questions I need allow into my life and be ready to answer "YES" when the time comes. But with every BIG dream there thousands of tiny moments to say yes and to allow in. I want to savor them all ~ 

Normal...

"If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing you can be."

Maya Angelou

"Normal" is highly over rated... I vote for AMAZING!!!

Thanks Maya Angelou for the reminder!

Money...

I love money. I think money is meant to bring joy and to be shared. All of my life, by American standards, I've lived "very poor." I am always grateful for whatever I had/have, but it has become part of my "comfort zone." So I find myself with the potential of making more money and feeling intimidated by how to use it to the best of its ability. I have no doubt that I know how to handle, the joy and sharing part, but what brings me uncomfortableness is, how to do things like, use an accountant, file the right taxes, investing to grow it, etc. I've always had so little that there was never a need for those kind of services. But it is something I want to learn and explore and not let this simple acts keep me from using my gifts and allowing the abundance of money into my life.

Mirror...

"Reality is the mirror of your thoughts. Choose well what you put in front of the mirror."

Dr Norman Peele

This is one of the reasons I don't read the newspaper or watch the news, and I choose to surround myself with beautiful people and keep a steady stream of "good news" flowing in my life. But I am not blind to the injustice or in denial of others hardships, but when I keep positive thoughts in front of me, I can respond to those in need of "whatever" in a light of love and joy.