Cleaning Out...

I am almost done cleaning out my garage. It has been a project for quite sometime. It is a symbolic clearing out. A clearing out of the old and welcoming the new. I am opening up space for the good and loving and laying to rest all that doesn't fit anymore. It feels very freeing with a hint of excitement. I don't know what comes next, but I do know that when I'm in the present moment "all is well". There is more to be done inside and out of my home, but it's a process that brings with it peace and hope. I'm enjoying giving what I don't need to those that do. I now want to give conscious thought to the things that I bring into my home and make sure it adds quality to my life.

Garden of Plenty...

Another year, another garden. I love my garden as it takes care of me I take care of it. It provides me with just enough vegetables each day to last me all summer and fall. The garden space isn't big enough to have extra to store but it gives me what I need. It gives me "plenty". And like life there are others - friends gardens that are bigger and more plentiful that give me extra to store away. Sometimes in life we are not meant to provide all that we need and we can rely on others for help. Others bounties are bigger and shared and sometimes mine is bigger then shared. There is plenty for everyone in this life. Sometimes it's vegetables and fruits and other times it is help with a problem, a comforting word or just their presence. When we are present for each other we have all that we need. Thank you to all that have shared...

My Dad...

I've been thinking about the day my dad called me on his death bed. Because of medical complications he was not able to speak and when he called I had not spoken with him in a very long time. I wondered what he would have said after all the lost years if he was able to talk, but then I thought, love doesn't really need words. But for some reason it struck me almost 16 years later how profound that felt. That no matter what circumstances life gave us and even though we never really knew what the other felt except maybe rejection on both sides, at the very end my father wanted me to know before he left this planet earth that I was loved. And I'm sure he felt sorrow for the way things turned out, just as I had and that it was not about me, it was about the struggles he had . But dad really did love me and I'm sure thought about me more then I will ever know. Thank you dad for that phone call, I feel loved...

Time

Time is an unusual commodity. It cannot be saved. You can't stockpile time like wood for the stove or food for the winter. It can't be seen, heard, touched, tasted or smelled.

Time is elusive, it is easy to ignore. That doesn't bother time at all. Time is perfectly content to remain hidden until you are out of it.

Time is a nonrenewable resource. If your out of wood you can chop some more, out of money you can earn a little extra, out of love, there is still hope, out of health, it can often be restored. But when your out of time, that's it. When this minute is gone, it's gone.

Time is always ticking whether we are aware of it or not. Being fully present for the moments in my life holds me responsible for what I want to do with them. I have to admit I let A lot of them slip by and many are wasted. Sometimes I take them for granted and think "oh, I'll have more tomorrow" or the times when I wanted to tell someone how I feel or what they mean to me I choose not to and then the opportunity is lost. Sometimes I feel like I let myself and others down, that I've wasted most of my fifty years on planet earth. But what have I really wasted if I've loved, learned, laughed, shared, and lived life. Maybe time isn't about watching each moment tick away but maybe more about just being... and being fully present. Knowing your doing the best that you can and when you know better you'll do better.

Freedom...

If you have felt trapped and imprisoned for a long time, freedom can feel unfamiliar and frightening.

Freedom comes in many forms. Having been out of a long relationship for a few years now I still found myself stuck. My thinking had been imprisoned and locked in a certain way of thinking. I didn't even realize the depth of my freedom. I kept hanging on to the familiar even if it wasn't making me happy and even though I knew it wasn't what I wanted. Then just the other day I had a "light bulb" moment. The thought kind of stuck me unexpected like a bolt of lightening - I am FREE. Yes, I am truly free. It still comes and goes in my mind as I try to wrap my head around the idea. To understand I can now step out of the prison I had placed myself in and the whole time forgetting there never was a key. I was free to walk out anytime. So on this July 4 holiday I am celebrating my freedom from my own imprisoned thinking.

Freedom waits on welcome, not on time. Freedom awaits your decision.

FEEL FREE!!!

resist yourself no more... walk free.