A Yearning to Write...

It started with a journal entry:

I pursued the only dream I ever wanted which was to marry and have children. Children had been my passion since I was a teen. During high school I worked in a social service owned day care (which I did not know at the time, but knowledge that would not have made a difference in my decision). These children where not your average “ my child needs a little playtime”, no these children came cold, hungry and in need of more then just interaction. I wrapped them in a blanket when their bodies were brought in blue, I bathed them in the bathroom sink when the need was great, stories were read, games brought laughter, food offered them nourishment and I loved them without judgment.

I graduated from high school and worked in the day care until I met my first husband at age 21 and we had a son. After our son was born it became very clear that this was not something my husband wanted. Looking back, I don't think he even knew a child was something he was not ready for. This is the moment in my life that brought the art of journaling to me. Most of my writing was frustration, confusion in my inability to figure out what felt so wrong. I filled pages and pages of journals, with no other answer but to end the marriage where my child was not welcome. I went back to school and recieved a Associate Degree in Graphic Arts. I knew I wanted something in the “Arts” and the counselors suggested I try Graphic Arts to be able to make a living – other wise I would be just another “starving” artist. Writing had not offered a nudge or spark of interest yet.

I later married again, all the while still writing what my heart felt, filling the empty space. These words brought a stirring, a growing interest and I started taking writing classes. Mostly in fiction but later tried my hand at non-fiction. I fell in love, and now have a desire for both fiction and non-fiction. Life gave me two more beautiful children and my interest for writing never wavered or lost it's desire to speak. But this marriage was also a learning experience. It taught me about myself and what I deserve and what I am worth, bringing this marriage to an end as well.

I have had many life experiences, all which contribute to the full and richness of my pursuit of writing. At this stage I am looking to reach farther then my own mind, to play big and allow others to see the possibilities, and I can only do that, if I allow myself to do the same. I am a student of life and will never stop learning and sharing what I feel will send ripples out into the world. My compassion is deep and my yearning great. Since I was a young child, I have been seeking and searching. Living amongst those around me, listening to their words, watching their actions, I always felt I was on the wrong page of the book that they were reading from. Finally finding the words that belong on my page, I want to honor that voice within. I have spent fifty-one years collecting data and now my goal is to use it for the greater good, and to keep expanding my view and exploring them from different angles.