Hug...

As I stepped outside to check on my blueberry bushes I transplanted last week into pots so I could move them when needed, I just stopped. My back was to the sun, the air was a bit cool, and I just stood there feeling the rays of the sun on my back. It felt like a hug from mother nature... and it made me smile.

Trying...

" Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it"

David Foster Wallace

In this process of letting go of my house and everything that goes along with that, I'm trying for the first time in my life to not "let go without claw marks on it."  I want to be willing, to let the process flow in and out of my life and even though I'm not doing it perfectly, I keep trying.

Travels...

In my travels today, I passed a huge tree that had come out of the ground and fallen over. My first thought was "wow, what an magnificent tree and look at those amazing roots." Then I thought, " I hope when my time has come to return to the earth, that people are as in awe at the roots I've put down in my life and what a magnificent person I had become.

Live...

"Live everyday with intention"

I'm not sure I live with intention everyday. I think I forget about the present moment I'm in, and get lost in life. Maybe setting an intention each morning would help bring the awareness to my day.

Plants...

As I've been going through "stuff", sorting and deciding what to get rid of and what to keep, you really start looking at what I value and treasure. So as I was digging up my blueberry bushes ( even plants I consider "my stuff") to put in portable pots, I realized how much they mean to me. And I just kept looking around saying "oh and I need to dig up that and that." I'll end up with more plants then my actually house hold stuff!

Scary...

"Letting go is scary. It's a free fall, an act of surrender."

"We're not use to letting go. We're used to hanging on for dear life. We hang on for lots of reasons."

"We're simply afraid of the free fall, afraid of coming alive as ourselves."

"Letting go frees up your energy and your attention. In the open field of surrender lie the seeds of new possibilities."

Daphne Rose Kingma

In my process of letting go of my house, these are all good things I need to keep remembering. And letting go is not something that I only do once, it is part of life! When I'm done with this process there will be another and another. Each bringing me to a deeper sense of wonder and possibilities for my life. But as I stand in the midst of the emotions, I have a hard time seeing all that can and will be. But I am grateful to be surrounded by people that can see what I can not and one day I will look back and gaze upon the vision they knew was possible.

Hopes and Dreams...

I realized letting go of my house is the same as my marriage. It is more about letting go of the illusion of what I thought I had and wanted. Neither my marriage or my home had materialized to be what I had hoped and dreamed. So as I continue to shuffle and sort through all the stuff in my house, preparing to leave it behind, I mourn. I mourn for all that was and wasn't, and to start a new chapter in my life, filled with all my hopes and dreams!!!

Renewed...

Letting go is a process. It comes in stages of grief, anger and acceptance. Somedays I'm in all those places. My tears release and wash the feeling clean and I am renewed to continue on this journey. As the next present moment presents itself, I allow it to flow through me without judgement. I am strong and brave...

Roar...

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, I will try again tomorrow."

Mary Anne Radmacher

This is so true for me, many a day. I don't need to feel hopeless, like I failed myself. I need to remember that I am still courageous and there is another present moment to try again!

I CAN,,,

My focus today is on what I CAN do and not on what I don't have control over. That feels so much better, and sometimes when I get stuck in my thinking, the present moment always offers another moment to begin again. So off I go to do all the things I CAN!

Bigger...

"Anything that looks like chaos and calamity in your life is just he Universe's way of saying, Trust me and we'll make a life together that is beyond your wildest dreams. The key is to trust. There's a bigger vision and purpose inside you that your small brain or Ego can imagine. The Universe has bigger and better plans for you. It's job to be of service and not get in your own way. You can only receive what you believe. When you trust you open yourself up to greater possibilities outside of your control or imagination. So what's it gunna be? Fear or Trust?

Anon

This will be my mantra today... TRUST.  It's a moment by moment struggle, and with each present moment I do the best that I can and remember to keep picking up TRUST every time I drop it.

Discouraged...

It doesn't take much to get me discouraged. I'm not sure why but one or two little things and I find myself sliding down that slipper slope of feeling lost and wanting to retreat from life. But where I am in my life right now that's not an option I want. But it's hard. I keep telling myself to feel what I need to feel, then pick myself up and start again. So for tonight I will just allow the feelings that dwell within and tomorrow I will start again.

Discovery...

"Discovery consist not in seeking new land but in seeing with new eyes."

Marcel Proust

My situation at home hasn't changed but when I can see it with new eyes it changes. But for me that is one present moment at a time. I get caught up in emotions and defining those from past experiences. But I can choose to start over and see with new eyes in this present moment I'm in.

Sun...

It's the simple things in life, like the sun shining that I'm grateful for today. It sits up there is the sky providing so much warmth and light without me taking notice sometimes. Thank you SUN for all you do for me!

Thaws...

As the snow drips, the world thaws out and comes back alive. I love when we're all snowed in and the days are frozen. The noise of everyday is silenced and we're left only hearing mother nature and our own heart beat. I'm grateful for the few days we had, when time seemed to stand still, but life is not meant to be stagnate. I would not want to be frozen in this moment forever. But it was a nice change of pace.

Blast...

A blast from the past. Someone from my high school days contacted me on face book. Have to say I didn't remember who they were at first and had to go get my yearbook out (lots have happened in 30 + years for me), but it was fun to walk down "what memory" I have lane. Goes to show you you never know what will happen in life. 

Snow...

Oh the snow covered world outside provides me with no guilt days. As I'm stuck inside from the snow and ice outside, I couldn't be happier! I don't have to feel guilty for staying home and fully enjoying that feeling. Home is where I LOVE to be! When I go out to run errands, hang out with friends, visit family, always in the back of my mind, is getting to be at home later that day or days to come. For me being at home is a slice of heaven!

Necessary...

"You have a strength of your own that is great enough to do all that is necessary."

Ernest Homes

This is my hope! I'm trying each day to do a little something towards stepping closer to the unknown in my life. There are a lot of steps I have control over, so while all the other is working itself out I can keep getting a little closer and believing in my strength to do ALL that is necessary.

Steps...

"We are grateful for fear, but allow ourselves to make a choice from a higher place, from a place of trust. The ironic thing is that once we die to fear, we can live. So living does require that we die, that we die to our fears, our doubts, and our old ways of thinking. We must take that first scary step out with trust that we will either know how to fly or that we will be caught.

http://thedailylove.com

You would think as many times in my life as I've taken that first scary step it would become easier. But today it doesn't feel like it. Maybe because each of the different steps is another fear that needs to be conquered. And I can look back on my other experiences and KNOW, that trust brought me through and I either learned how to fly or I was caught. 

Creating...

I LOVE days like today ~ no where to go and lots of time to play in the kitchen. I love making things, whether it's food, crafts, or presents. It just makes me feel good, it feels like I'm taking care of myself and those around me. I've always loved creating and today was one of those days. It was fun!!!

Village...

"It takes a village to raise a child."

You don't have to be a child to need the help of a village. We are all going along in this life the best we know how and sometimes you need to help of the whole village. Like long ago when they would have barn raising and everyone would come out to help. That's where I feel my life is right now - it's taking a village to help me through this place I'm in and I am grateful for the community that surrounds me!!!

Only Choice...

"You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice."

Bob Marley

Right now being strong IS my only choice. Yes I could give up but that's not an option. It is not a choice I want. I want to make it through this unknown because I know deep in my heart there is love and beauty that dwells within this process. I see it and then I lose sight of it. I can do this... I am strong enough!

Grows...

"A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there."

I'm trying today to grow beyond my beautiful comfort zone... It's not easy!

Positive...

Today started out as a struggle to maintain my positive outlook, but I was determined to not go down that slipper slope, and when I made that decision I had one thing after the other happen to reinforce that intention. It started with this sign someone randomly put among the cookies at the check out, then as I was leaving the store, I ran into a lady who I had known from living in my community ( our kids went to the same school when they were little) and she stopped and chatted with me and said when the weather stays warm we should go for a walk. Then the rain held off until I got done with dog walking. The the lady who runs the pet sitting service text me to let me know someone made a comment to her that I always leave the best written updates for the clients. I think a couple more things happened but they escape me now ( that's what happens when I don't write them down). All in all ~ ( as the note said)  Today is a GREAT DAY!

Listen...

"Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply."

I have been guilty of not deeply listening and replying without deeply understanding. I have made progress over the years but it's still a skill that I want to continue to work on. I feel we all want to be heard and not necessarily with a reply. To really listen, to really hear is such a gift I can give to someone in any present moment I am in.

Refuse...

Today is the only present moment I have available and I refuse to let any negativity into that space. I can't guarantee how I will choose to feel tomorrow but I can have control over the moment I'm in. I can either see my cup half full or half empty, it's my choice. The situation is still the same as it was when I was feeling discouraged and full of doubt, so why not just for today "refuse" to see anything but the positive and allow it to flow freely into my mind and heart.

Genuine...

" A friend who understands your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile."

My life is rich when it comes to my friends. I have acquired an awesome group that continue to keep me surrounded in the good times and bad. They cheer me on and hold me up. Though them I know what a genuine friend is and the value that plays in my life ~ it's a priceless gift, and I am SO GRATEFUL today and everyday.